When you go on book tour, you're always talking about yourself and your book from the time you g...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....
CHRISTOPHER MOORE If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Children see magic because they look for it.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Love? Sodding, bloody, tossing, bloody, sodding, bloody love? Irrelevant, superfluous, bloody, ruddy...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE What is your name?" asked Lear.
Caius," said Kent.
And whence do you hail?"
From Bonk...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE When you're telling stories, you are actually trying to illuminate some portion of the truth in ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I think beta males on an evolutionary basis are much more successful than the alpha males are. You d...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I was baptized Methodist, but I was mainly raised First Church of NFL, which is to say that my famil...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE San Francisco is a breathtakingly beautiful city, with lots of great contrasts between dark and ligh...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Cho...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Tommy had completely forgotten that he was horny. He had always been horny, and had accepted that he...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I've won Satan's lottery.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Everything in Venice is just a little bit creepy, as much as it's beautiful.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. L...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The noise was like, well, it was like a thousand vampire cats clawing on Plexiglas—it made their t...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE It's hard for me, a Jew, to stay in the moment. Without the past, where is the guilt? And without th...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE When I was writing 'You Suck,' in 2006, I constructed the diction of the book's narrator...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I kind of dislike 'For Whom the Bell Tolls,' but most of Hemingway in general, mainly becaus...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE As Richard Pryor was to Eddie Murphy, that's what Kurt Vonnegut was to me.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE You're trying to be tricky. What's morality?"
"It's the difference between what's right and wha...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I just finished a novel called 'Exult,' by Joe Quirk, last night. It's about hang glidin...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I came back to San Francisco and spent more time in the neighborhoods like Chinatown and the Mission...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Our finding suggests that high resolution sensory maps that can quickly and accurately handle many d...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Gallery owners know me, but they never say, 'Hello,' because they don't want other people to know th...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE It was a catastrophe, of course. We had no clients, no nothing. Nobody understood the idea of doing ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand any...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I've made a dog's breakfast of English history, geography, 'King Lear,' and the Engl...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the respo...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires vo...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE It’s sarcasm, Josh.”

“Sarcasm?”

“It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. T...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I think there was always some scrawny dreamer sitting at the edge of the firelight, who had the abil...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE How do you know, when you think blue — when you say blue — that you are talking about the same...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE As an author, you spend a lot of time by yourself in a room making clicky noises. It gets pretty ins...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE What this means is, if someone from another state is looking for the nearest Joslin Diabetes Center ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy".
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Blessed are the dumbfucks.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Scratch a cynic and you will find a disappointed romantic.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Blessed are the dumbfucks
CHRISTOPHER MOORE If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it.
If you are here to be offended, ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE They were both lean and blond and weather-beaten, and one evening, as they were portaging gear from ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I hope she will be real proud. My ultimate goal is have it performed for the Oneida Nation in Wiscon...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Finding a new map in the brain is a truly exciting experience. It's a little like traveling to an un...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE There are some elements that are tonal and some are not. But nothing so far out you can't grasp it. ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Words, words, words, a million million words circle in my head like hawks, waiting to dive onto the ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE ... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I'll bet he was myrrh. Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I'm thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I've got to think that that was unethical," Joshua said.
"Josh, faking demonic possession is li...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lep...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Oh, I would while away the hours,
Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song,
I'd b...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Why is it one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere, but one must busta cap in someone's ass?
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Routine feeds the illusion of safety...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Oh, I get it," I said. "It's a parable. Cute. Let's go eat.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be sh...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the b...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Budd...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Josh: "What is this thing?"
Gasper: "It's a Yeti. An abominable snowman."
Biff: "This is w...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abuse...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Andrew Lloyd Webber's version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
CHRISTOPHER MOORE You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp bl...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE There's one painting that historically would have been better, ... because it was painted at the beg...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Collectors say, 'I hate reproductions. It's awful. Why would anybody do that?,' ... That's what they...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE In the movie, the painting is supposed to be worth $100 million. No painting is worth $100 million. ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The African-American Freedom Trail: From Slavery to Freedom in New York City
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I don't expect you to have any leniency or even believe a word I say. I have to stop lying to myself...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE That's a horrible plan."
"Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE If there was anything I learned from John the Baptist, it was that the sooner you confess a mistake,...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Science, you don't know, looks like magic.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I did the one with the big butt. They said they want something that looks like a Renoir with the fac...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Don't bruise the Foo!
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Lash had been explaining to her that it's impolite to refer to an African American as a nigga, unles...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Fan mail typically goes through your publisher and you don't get it for a long time. So you look lik...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The sofa was lumpy enough to have had a body sewed into it; stuffing spilled out of the arms where t...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I love British cursing - the cadence of it, the joy in the sound of the words, and the vulgarity of ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE El pecado de Onán. Derramar en el suelo la vieja semilla. Atar el camello. Quitarle el polvo al bur...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I'm not nearly as outrageously brave as many of my rascals that I write. But I think the rascal ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE All of the trickster, rascal characters that I write have the voice I aspire to. In real life, you c...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Lily liked the fog, and didn't even mind the cold wind. She reckoned that Ocean Beach, the dunes the...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I gave you all!" screeched Lear, waving a palsied claw at Regan.
"And you took your bloody time...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hu...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE When I teach seminars, I tell people, 'Your stuff has to look like something that's out ther...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE It's about average for us. Behavior always draws more than survey. We're the sexy ones,' Nate said w...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE So nerds rule.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE doch ihre Gegenwart hatte in ihm stets das Gefühl ausgelöst, daß seine eheliche Treue lediglich e...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE »Das Prinzip Moral verstehe ich nicht.«
»Das überrascht mich nicht im geringsten.«
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Das Leben war Handeln, es gab keinen Frieden diesseits des Grabes.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE »Du hast Heiden vernichtet? Ich dachte, die Erdgeister seien wohlgesinnt.«
»Jeder hat mal Au...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Die Behauptung, daß Effrom nicht besonders gut kochen konnte, war eine Untertreibung von ähnlichem...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Creatures of the night were rising from their resting places and venturing forth to feed on their un...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The garlic bread lay there between them, steaming with implications. They, of course, must both eat ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE He had tapped into the Zen of ignorance, the enlightenment of absurdity.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE For the tourist, immersed in the oblivion of vacation spending, Cypress Street provided a bonanza of...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Everyone at the bar turned toward The Breeze and waited, as if the next few words he spoke would rev...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE In Breeze’s business one got used to running across the skeletons in people’s closets. If Billy�...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Slowly and gently, Augustus Brine explained to the king of the Djinn about the illusion created by m...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE A Bluesman hates to be told what to do. Authority rankles him, inspires his rebellion, and plays to ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Don’t be so hard on yourself, You’re doing the same thing, trying to reconcile all the moms that...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE We've been rehearsing a classic from antiquity, Green Eggs and Hamlet, the story of a young p...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE You know, he doesn't have to be the only one bopped in the noggin when noggin-boppin' time rolls aro...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE The music coming from inside sounded like robots fucking. And complaining about it. In rhythmic mono...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE People, generally, suck.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE La Cadillac Eldorado Brougham del 1957 era l'incarnazione perfetta dell'esibizionismo, tra le macchi...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Author's Warning

If you're buying this book as a gift for your grandma or a kid, you shou...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE But she's a redhead, so she's probably evil, even at her tender age."

"I thought you like...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE I love you, Lucien, but I am a muse, you are an artist, I am not here to make you comfortable...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Hope is merely another face of desire. And desire is a motherfucker.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE You're the one with almost an MBA," Barry, the short balding one, said to Lash.
"You should kno...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE not the end of the world, just darkness over everything," Charlie cheerfully said. "it gets dark - t...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE ...as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivo...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE You sure about this writer thing son?
CHRISTOPHER MOORE He was a writer and words were his weapons.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE He slowed to a walk. As he approached her he was surprised at just how pretty she was. She looked a ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE It is essential that the women's preventive coverage benefit, including contraception, be availa...
GWEN MOORE Sculpture is an art of the open air. Daylight, sunlight, is necessary to it, and for me, its best se...
HENRY MOORE You can't regulate child labor. You can't regulate slavery. Some things are just wrong.
MICHAEL MOORE Life is a lot more interesting if you are interested in the people and the places around you. So, il...
ALAN MOORE I like Jacques Derrida; I think he's funny. I like my philosophy with a few jokes and puns. I kn...
ALAN MOORE The creative habit is like a drug. The particular obsession changes, but the excitement, the thrill ...
HENRY MOORE If you ain't got your black hat, there ain't no use in filling out an application.
GREG MOORE I think I had the most fun making a movie with 'Dedication,' just because you knew that it w...
MANDY MOORE I like pencil skirts because they hug me in all the right places.
MANDY MOORE I kind of feel, in a way, all of us will forever be asking those questions of ourselves: Who am I an...
MANDY MOORE It was never important for a wedding to be about anything other than me and my partner. A big celebr...
MANDY MOORE When girls feel bad about their looks, 60 percent avoid normal daily activities like raising their h...
MANDY MOORE I do think it's possible to change for the better.
MANDY MOORE Because I'm in an adult world and I'm really working, my age is just a number. It's not ...
MANDY MOORE It's important to get well-rounded right off the bat. A lot of experienced dancers can get pigeo...
MANDY MOORE We are in a culture where it's so easy to just turn things off that you don't like. And I th...
MANDY MOORE I travel the world visiting global health programs as an ambassador for the global health organizati...
MANDY MOORE Love is like nothing else on this earth, but only when it is shared with someone wonderful like you.
MANDY MOORE Tackling malaria in a country like the Central African Republic is a huge uphill battle, and my expe...
MANDY MOORE Pneumonia is a disease that often flies under the radar of not just the public but even the global h...
MANDY MOORE In 2009, I traveled to South Sudan with my organization PSI. While there, I visited a local school a...
MANDY MOORE I've gone skydiving twice. I was terrified about doing it, but I wanted to overcome that. The fi...
MANDY MOORE Hope is the most exciting thing there is in life.
MANDY MOORE People who grew up watching Disney films like myself, there are films that are certain benchmarks in...
MANDY MOORE The unknown used to be really scary, just that fear of, 'What's next? What if I'm not pr...
MANDY MOORE Developing a relationship with someone you admire, who can encourage you to reach your full potentia...
MANDY MOORE There's a classic element that all good Disney movies have. It really comes down to the storytel...
MANDY MOORE I need to be more consistent about taking care of myself no matter how busy I am.
MANDY MOORE No one really gets rich doing this. A couple people do, Black Sabbath does. We don't sell any re...
THURSTON MOORE The entire business world has figured out how to make huge buckets of money without hiring us to wor...
MICHAEL MOORE There are two worlds we live in: a material world, bound by the laws of physics, and the world insid...
ALAN MOORE Poetry is the art of creating imaginary gardens with real toads.
MARIANNE MOORE I went to Cal Arts. I went to art school.
RICH MOORE I still believe the lessons I learned when I was raised in a Roman Catholic household. Like, it'...
MICHAEL MOORE Capitalism is an organized system to guarantee that greed becomes the primary force of our economic ...
MICHAEL MOORE Not only am I a spender, I have had a couple of business people in the past who have been spending m...
ROGER MOORE War is a perversion of sex.
ALAN MOORE If I write a crappy comic book, it doesn't cost the budget of an emergent Third World nation. When y...
ALAN MOORE Most of the people who get sent to die in wars are young men who've got a lot of energy and would pr...
ALAN MOORE Language comes first. It's not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven't got language...
ALAN MOORE To paint comic books as childish and illiterate is lazy. A lot of comic books are very literate - un...
ALAN MOORE To some degree Satanism is purely a kind of disease of Christianity. You've got to really be Christi...
ALAN MOORE In a sense, the story, or poem or verse or whatever it is you're writing, you can kind of think of i...
ALAN MOORE Don't leave home without your sword - your intellect.
ALAN MOORE Because our entire universe is made up of consciousness, we never really experience the universe dir...
ALAN MOORE Sherlock Holmes is a massive figure in people's minds. More massive than a lot of real historical ch...
ALAN MOORE I never liked guns, I hate them, I always blink before they go off.
ROGER MOORE Kim Kardashian is a major player coming off of a reality show, and nobody can turn a blind eye to wh...
SHEMAR MOORE