Christopher Moore quote: "We've been rehearsing a classic from antiquity, <i>Green Eggs and Hamlet</i>, the story of a young prince of Denmark who goes mad, drowns his girlfriend, and in his remorse, forces spoiled breakfast on all whom he meets."

When you go on book tour, you're always talking about yourself and your book from the time you g...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Children see magic because they look for it.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Love? Sodding, bloody, tossing, bloody, sodding, bloody love? Irrelevant, superfluous, bloody, ruddy...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

What is your name?" asked Lear.
Caius," said Kent.
And whence do you hail?"
From Bonk...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

When you're telling stories, you are actually trying to illuminate some portion of the truth in ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I think beta males on an evolutionary basis are much more successful than the alpha males are. You d...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I was baptized Methodist, but I was mainly raised First Church of NFL, which is to say that my famil...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

San Francisco is a breathtakingly beautiful city, with lots of great contrasts between dark and ligh...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Cho...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Tommy had completely forgotten that he was horny. He had always been horny, and had accepted that he...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I've won Satan's lottery.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Everything in Venice is just a little bit creepy, as much as it's beautiful.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. L...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The noise was like, well, it was like a thousand vampire cats clawing on Plexiglas—it made their t...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

It's hard for me, a Jew, to stay in the moment. Without the past, where is the guilt? And without th...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

When I was writing 'You Suck,' in 2006, I constructed the diction of the book's narrator...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I kind of dislike 'For Whom the Bell Tolls,' but most of Hemingway in general, mainly becaus...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

As Richard Pryor was to Eddie Murphy, that's what Kurt Vonnegut was to me.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

You're trying to be tricky. What's morality?"
"It's the difference between what's right and wha...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I just finished a novel called 'Exult,' by Joe Quirk, last night. It's about hang glidin...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I came back to San Francisco and spent more time in the neighborhoods like Chinatown and the Mission...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I wanted a trumpet concerto that reflected Native American music because, well, there aren't any. I ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Our finding suggests that high resolution sensory maps that can quickly and accurately handle many d...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Gallery owners know me, but they never say, 'Hello,' because they don't want other people to know th...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

It was a catastrophe, of course. We had no clients, no nothing. Nobody understood the idea of doing ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand any...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I've made a dog's breakfast of English history, geography, 'King Lear,' and the Engl...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the respo...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires vo...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

It’s sarcasm, Josh.”

“Sarcasm?”

“It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. T...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I think there was always some scrawny dreamer sitting at the edge of the firelight, who had the abil...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

How do you know, when you think blue — when you say blue — that you are talking about the same...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

As an author, you spend a lot of time by yourself in a room making clicky noises. It gets pretty ins...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

What this means is, if someone from another state is looking for the nearest Joslin Diabetes Center ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy".
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Blessed are the dumbfucks.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Scratch a cynic and you will find a disappointed romantic.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Blessed are the dumbfucks
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it.
If you are here to be offended, ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

They were both lean and blond and weather-beaten, and one evening, as they were portaging gear from ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I hope she will be real proud. My ultimate goal is have it performed for the Oneida Nation in Wiscon...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Finding a new map in the brain is a truly exciting experience. It's a little like traveling to an un...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

There are some elements that are tonal and some are not. But nothing so far out you can't grasp it. ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Words, words, words, a million million words circle in my head like hawks, waiting to dive onto the ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I'll bet he was myrrh. Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I'm thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I've got to think that that was unethical," Joshua said.
"Josh, faking demonic possession is li...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lep...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Oh, I would while away the hours,
Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song,
I'd b...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Why is it one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere, but one must busta cap in someone's ass?
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Routine feeds the illusion of safety...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Oh, I get it," I said. "It's a parable. Cute. Let's go eat.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be sh...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the b...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Budd...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Josh: "What is this thing?"
Gasper: "It's a Yeti. An abominable snowman."
Biff: "This is w...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abuse...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Andrew Lloyd Webber's version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp bl...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

There's one painting that historically would have been better, ... because it was painted at the beg...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Collectors say, 'I hate reproductions. It's awful. Why would anybody do that?,' ... That's what they...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

In the movie, the painting is supposed to be worth $100 million. No painting is worth $100 million. ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The value of the work we do is the value we give to it.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The African-American Freedom Trail: From Slavery to Freedom in New York City
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I don't expect you to have any leniency or even believe a word I say. I have to stop lying to myself...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

That's a horrible plan."
"Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

If there was anything I learned from John the Baptist, it was that the sooner you confess a mistake,...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Science, you don't know, looks like magic.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I did the one with the big butt. They said they want something that looks like a Renoir with the fac...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Don't bruise the Foo!
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Lash had been explaining to her that it's impolite to refer to an African American as a nigga, unles...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Fan mail typically goes through your publisher and you don't get it for a long time. So you look lik...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The sofa was lumpy enough to have had a body sewed into it; stuffing spilled out of the arms where t...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I love British cursing - the cadence of it, the joy in the sound of the words, and the vulgarity of ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

El pecado de Onán. Derramar en el suelo la vieja semilla. Atar el camello. Quitarle el polvo al bur...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I'm not nearly as outrageously brave as many of my rascals that I write. But I think the rascal ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

All of the trickster, rascal characters that I write have the voice I aspire to. In real life, you c...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Lily liked the fog, and didn't even mind the cold wind. She reckoned that Ocean Beach, the dunes the...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I gave you all!" screeched Lear, waving a palsied claw at Regan.
"And you took your bloody time...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hu...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

When I teach seminars, I tell people, 'Your stuff has to look like something that's out ther...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

It's about average for us. Behavior always draws more than survey. We're the sexy ones,' Nate said w...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

So nerds rule.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

doch ihre Gegenwart hatte in ihm stets das Gefühl ausgelöst, daß seine eheliche Treue lediglich e...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

»Das Prinzip Moral verstehe ich nicht.«
»Das überrascht mich nicht im geringsten.«
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Das Leben war Handeln, es gab keinen Frieden diesseits des Grabes.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

»Du hast Heiden vernichtet? Ich dachte, die Erdgeister seien wohlgesinnt.«
»Jeder hat mal Au...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Die Behauptung, daß Effrom nicht besonders gut kochen konnte, war eine Untertreibung von ähnlichem...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Creatures of the night were rising from their resting places and venturing forth to feed on their un...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The garlic bread lay there between them, steaming with implications. They, of course, must both eat ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

He had tapped into the Zen of ignorance, the enlightenment of absurdity.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

For the tourist, immersed in the oblivion of vacation spending, Cypress Street provided a bonanza of...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Everyone at the bar turned toward The Breeze and waited, as if the next few words he spoke would rev...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

In Breeze’s business one got used to running across the skeletons in people’s closets. If Billy�...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Rachel could not believe what she was hearing. Accepting that her magic worked was a huge step, yet ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Slowly and gently, Augustus Brine explained to the king of the Djinn about the illusion created by m...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

A Bluesman hates to be told what to do. Authority rankles him, inspires his rebellion, and plays to ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Don’t be so hard on yourself, You’re doing the same thing, trying to reconcile all the moms that...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

You know, he doesn't have to be the only one bopped in the noggin when noggin-boppin' time rolls aro...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

The music coming from inside sounded like robots fucking. And complaining about it. In rhythmic mono...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

People, generally, suck.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

La Cadillac Eldorado Brougham del 1957 era l'incarnazione perfetta dell'esibizionismo, tra le macchi...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Author's Warning

If you're buying this book as a gift for your grandma or a kid, you shou...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

But she's a redhead, so she's probably evil, even at her tender age."

"I thought you like...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

I love you, Lucien, but I am a muse, you are an artist, I am not here to make you comfortable...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Hope is merely another face of desire. And desire is a motherfucker.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

You're the one with almost an MBA," Barry, the short balding one, said to Lash.
"You should kno...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

not the end of the world, just darkness over everything," Charlie cheerfully said. "it gets dark - t...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

...as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivo...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

You sure about this writer thing son?
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

He was a writer and words were his weapons.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

He slowed to a walk. As he approached her he was surprised at just how pretty she was. She looked a ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE

It is essential that the women's preventive coverage benefit, including contraception, be availa...
GWEN MOORE

Sculpture is an art of the open air. Daylight, sunlight, is necessary to it, and for me, its best se...
HENRY MOORE

You can't regulate child labor. You can't regulate slavery. Some things are just wrong.
MICHAEL MOORE

Life is a lot more interesting if you are interested in the people and the places around you. So, il...
ALAN MOORE

I like Jacques Derrida; I think he's funny. I like my philosophy with a few jokes and puns. I kn...
ALAN MOORE

The creative habit is like a drug. The particular obsession changes, but the excitement, the thrill ...
HENRY MOORE

If you ain't got your black hat, there ain't no use in filling out an application.
GREG MOORE

I think I had the most fun making a movie with 'Dedication,' just because you knew that it w...
MANDY MOORE

I like pencil skirts because they hug me in all the right places.
MANDY MOORE

I kind of feel, in a way, all of us will forever be asking those questions of ourselves: Who am I an...
MANDY MOORE

It was never important for a wedding to be about anything other than me and my partner. A big celebr...
MANDY MOORE

When girls feel bad about their looks, 60 percent avoid normal daily activities like raising their h...
MANDY MOORE

I do think it's possible to change for the better.
MANDY MOORE

Because I'm in an adult world and I'm really working, my age is just a number. It's not ...
MANDY MOORE

It's important to get well-rounded right off the bat. A lot of experienced dancers can get pigeo...
MANDY MOORE

We are in a culture where it's so easy to just turn things off that you don't like. And I th...
MANDY MOORE

I travel the world visiting global health programs as an ambassador for the global health organizati...
MANDY MOORE

Love is like nothing else on this earth, but only when it is shared with someone wonderful like you.
MANDY MOORE

Tackling malaria in a country like the Central African Republic is a huge uphill battle, and my expe...
MANDY MOORE

Pneumonia is a disease that often flies under the radar of not just the public but even the global h...
MANDY MOORE

In 2009, I traveled to South Sudan with my organization PSI. While there, I visited a local school a...
MANDY MOORE

I've gone skydiving twice. I was terrified about doing it, but I wanted to overcome that. The fi...
MANDY MOORE

Hope is the most exciting thing there is in life.
MANDY MOORE

People who grew up watching Disney films like myself, there are films that are certain benchmarks in...
MANDY MOORE

The unknown used to be really scary, just that fear of, 'What's next? What if I'm not pr...
MANDY MOORE

Developing a relationship with someone you admire, who can encourage you to reach your full potentia...
MANDY MOORE

There's a classic element that all good Disney movies have. It really comes down to the storytel...
MANDY MOORE

I need to be more consistent about taking care of myself no matter how busy I am.
MANDY MOORE

No one really gets rich doing this. A couple people do, Black Sabbath does. We don't sell any re...
THURSTON MOORE

The entire business world has figured out how to make huge buckets of money without hiring us to wor...
MICHAEL MOORE

There are two worlds we live in: a material world, bound by the laws of physics, and the world insid...
ALAN MOORE

Poetry is the art of creating imaginary gardens with real toads.
MARIANNE MOORE

I went to Cal Arts. I went to art school.
RICH MOORE

I still believe the lessons I learned when I was raised in a Roman Catholic household. Like, it'...
MICHAEL MOORE

Capitalism is an organized system to guarantee that greed becomes the primary force of our economic ...
MICHAEL MOORE

Not only am I a spender, I have had a couple of business people in the past who have been spending m...
ROGER MOORE

War is a perversion of sex.
ALAN MOORE

If I write a crappy comic book, it doesn't cost the budget of an emergent Third World nation. When y...
ALAN MOORE

Most of the people who get sent to die in wars are young men who've got a lot of energy and would pr...
ALAN MOORE

Language comes first. It's not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven't got language...
ALAN MOORE

To paint comic books as childish and illiterate is lazy. A lot of comic books are very literate - un...
ALAN MOORE

To some degree Satanism is purely a kind of disease of Christianity. You've got to really be Christi...
ALAN MOORE

In a sense, the story, or poem or verse or whatever it is you're writing, you can kind of think of i...
ALAN MOORE

Don't leave home without your sword - your intellect.
ALAN MOORE

Because our entire universe is made up of consciousness, we never really experience the universe dir...
ALAN MOORE

Sherlock Holmes is a massive figure in people's minds. More massive than a lot of real historical ch...
ALAN MOORE

I never liked guns, I hate them, I always blink before they go off.
ROGER MOORE

Kim Kardashian is a major player coming off of a reality show, and nobody can turn a blind eye to wh...
SHEMAR MOORE

We've been rehearsing a classic from antiquity, Green Eggs and Hamlet, the story of a young prince of Denmark who goes mad, drowns his girlfriend, and in his remorse, forces spoiled breakfast on all whom he meets.

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Christopher Moore

We've been rehearsing a classic from antiquity, Green Eggs and Hamlet, the story of a young prince of Denmark who goes mad, drowns his girlfriend, and in his remorse, forces spoiled breakfast on all whom he meets.

Christopher Moore

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