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I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale.




Dark Jar Tin Zoo

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On a scale of 1 to 10, I was a 12,
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Wha...
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DARK JAR TIN ZOO To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my m...
DARK JAR TIN ZOO If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.

DARK JAR TIN ZOO She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I coul...
DARK JAR TIN ZOO Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.

DARK JAR TIN ZOO I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or nee...
DARK JAR TIN ZOO I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.
DARK JAR TIN ZOO Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two litt...
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DARK JAR TIN ZOO Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy.

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DARK JAR TIN ZOO I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.

DARK JAR TIN ZOO I make love like never, only less often.

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DARK JAR TIN ZOO I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a ...
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DARK JAR TIN ZOO I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual co...
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DARK JAR TIN ZOO Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now.

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DARK JAR TIN ZOO The only time I drink milk is when I drink coffee. I make love the same way—contributing 2% as I j...
DARK JAR TIN ZOO She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s...
DARK JAR TIN ZOO I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!

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DARK JAR TIN ZOO I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze t...
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