I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.
Ilona Andrews
Related
A black raven flew past me and landed on the back of the couch.
Roman slapped his hand over his...
ILONA ANDREWS I'm a substitute mom."
"You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs ...
ILONA ANDREWS I'm just glad I can make a difference in someone's life.
TOMMY CHONG You know," she said, stirring her tea, "the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with hi...
ILONA ANDREWS Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful...
ILONA ANDREWS Tiny gold sparks flared in his irises. "You're in my rooms in my bathtub naked and you're still mout...
ILONA ANDREWS But I can please God
CRAIG GROESCHEL My mom drives me crazy sometimes, but I have a good relationship with her.
SETH ROGEN Hi, Your Majesty, we drugged your love muffin and then let her walk out into the dark, in the sn...
ILONA ANDREWS I just want to make films that have enough of a budget to pull off high-level imagery but also have ...
NEILL BLOMKAMP A man who loves a bad name cares less about the future of his great grand children.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) There was a moment of, 'Oh gosh, I hope I can pull this off,
JENNIFER ANISTON Mom and Dad can make the rulesAnd certain things forbid,But I can make them wish that theyhad never ...
BILL WATTERSON Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.
ILONA ANDREWS Kate Daniels, deadly swordmaster. Fear my twitching pinkie.
ILONA ANDREWS Two hours. More than enough time to kidnap a man. Or to slice his throat, bury him in the forest, an...
ILONA ANDREWS When you want to take over a city, you have to destroy the illusion of safety it provides. You have ...
ILONA ANDREWS We talked to our members about it and they said, 'This sounds crazy,' but the more work we do, it lo...
DAN BRUSH They said, 'Do we have a chance? I said, 'Yeah, we have a chance. I think we can pull off the upset....
DAVE KOHNEN I'd like to make a toast to St. Andrews.
TIGER WOODS Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all ...
R. BUCKMINSTER FULLER Oh, it makes a difference, I thought. And if it doesn't make a difference you will make it make a di...
CHAIM POTOK I believe in work. If somebody doesn't create something, however small it may be, he gets sick. An a...
ARTHUR MILLER Go into the world and do well. But more importantly, go into the world and do good.
MINOR MYERS I'm an adrenaline junkie. I love climbing crazy trees or cliffs, which doesn't make my mom v...
STEPHEN COLLETTI I remember admiring my aunt's - my mom's sister's - fashion, which was very feminine and...
STEPHANIE SIGMAN I don’t mind being killer-crazy, but I don’t want to be loony-bin-crazy. That would probably be ...
A.R. TORRE She wakes up and then it's, 'Today's Saturday, huh, mom. Some days she can leave with a hug and a ki...
SUZANNE LOCKE We had a bad day and we've still got another game to try and react. I think we can pull off a comeba...
IKER CASILLAS I know who I am, I know what I can and can't do. I know what I will and won't do. I know wha...
DOLLY PARTON He is a New Jersey guy who likes country. It doesn't make sense at all, but he is a well-dressed guy...
CHRIS LONG I know it's late, but could you find a book for me? It's called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition ...
ILONA ANDREWS You'll lose."
"What makes you so sure?"
"You have no discipline. All you do is tear down s...
ILONA ANDREWS I also stole a small yellow doughnut from the box of Duncan's doughnuts in the rec room and fed it t...
ILONA ANDREWS Rene, you want us to find you-don't-know-who and to retrieve his you-don't-know-what for you-won't-t...
ILONA ANDREWS I'm counting to ten in my head."
"Is it helping?"
"No."
"It doesn't help me with you ...
ILONA ANDREWS I'll call you," he repeated.
"If you call me, I won't pick up the phone."
"You will wait b...
ILONA ANDREWS No more tubs for me." I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. "They make me lose a...
ILONA ANDREWS You think he's got 'government badass' tattooed on his chest?" I murmured.
A faint grimace skew...
ILONA ANDREWS Say 'pop.'"
"Pop?"
"That was the sound of me pulling your head out of your ass.
ILONA ANDREWS Andrea raised her eyebrows. "Look at you, all high-speed."
"Yeah, you'd think I was a detective...
ILONA ANDREWS At first glance you looked at Kate and thought “fighter,” maybe merc. Five inches taller than me...
ILONA ANDREWS They really kicked me out?"
"Refunded the tuition and everything."
Julie blinked a coupl...
ILONA ANDREWS I looked at him. "You really need to work on your threats. I can't tell if you're threatening me or ...
ILONA ANDREWS Beautiful I would never be. Striking, that I could manage.
ILONA ANDREWS I'm satisfied with the way I skated today. I didn't make any major mistakes, I planned to do a tripl...
SHIZUKA ARAKAWA I believe each individual can have a say and make a difference.
MALORIE BLACKMAN It's possible for me to make a bad movie out of a good script, but I can't make a good movie...
GEORGE CLOONEY If you cast the picture correctly, you have a whole lot of leeway. You can make mistakes in other as...
JOHN FRANKENHEIMER He's had a bad start to the season, but I think he'll pull through, ... He's going to be fine.
LUKE JACKSON My brain is good, but my body is deteriorating. I probably have another two or three years. Or I can...
ED KOCH I thought I might make a few grand but I've made a fortune. It's been a crazy adventure.
ALEX TEW No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be u...
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. We cannot do everything, but we can all do something.
DILLON BURROUGHS I was just being obedient to what my parents saw in me. I was more interested in the things the wome...
GLADYS KNIGHT Catherine Keener is everyone's dream sister slash mom slash aunt.
ALLISON WILLIAMS There is something intoxicating about ending a life, about wiping bad people off the face of the ear...
PAULA STOKES I wanted to tell you that I just--I miss you. And maybe that sounds ridiculous--like we barely know ...
TAMMARA WEBBER Shoes make an outfit. You can throw on a crazy shirt and crazy pants but you add those shoes - done.
RUSSELL WESTBROOK I left the only way you can leave. You pull your life off all at once - like a Band-Aid.
JOHN GREEN I'm so spoiled - I must have a Starbucks vanilla latte every day. Otherwise, it's going to be a bad ...
KATIE HOLMES There's the 'right way' and the 'usual way'.
Folks tend to confuse both.
The right way i...
UFUOMA APOKI My Aunt Ella and my mom have informed me that we are going to rebuild. And because they are the matr...
BRAD BRENNAN If we can pull it off against Burk on Friday, then that will give us a very good chance to make the ...
HAROLD JACKSON I knew there was a chance I could pull it off. But, I would have been happy with 10 feet past the ho...
CARL PETTERSSON At one point, I kind of looked in the mirror and said, 'You know, you're a mom. You're a...
MARY STEENBURGEN Unfortunately, the Best Lord had condemned both vehicles as unsafe and instead I now leased a Pack J...
ILONA ANDREWS Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.
ILONA ANDREWS Failure happened. The trick was to accept the risk and try anyway.
ILONA ANDREWS I've never seen such a collection of idiots in my whole life.' Doolittle shook his head. 'If you par...
ILONA ANDREWS I've read your summary."
"And?"
"It's not incompetent."
Be still, my heart, so I don'...
ILONA ANDREWS When I'm with him, I can feel myself getting better. It's like he's picking up broken pieces of me a...
ILONA ANDREWS He glued the chair to my ass."
Silence.
"Is it still...attached?"
"I can't get it off...
ILONA ANDREWS Rumors said that if he got drunk enough, he sometimes got his jollies by stripping naked and scaring...
ILONA ANDREWS I don’t snore.”
He nodded with a wide grin. “It’s a quiet peaceful kind of snoring. Lik...
ILONA ANDREWS When alone in a dark forest waiting for an audience with an evil god, the most prudent course of act...
ILONA ANDREWS Any messages for me?" Usually I got one or two, but mostly people who wanted my help preferred to ta...
ILONA ANDREWS When I write, I can shake off all my cares.
ANNE FRANK I look at the world through a green lens now, but you can't make yourself crazy. That feeling of...
RACHEL MCADAMS Wouldn't keep me from going. I don't think they can pull the stuff off they say they can.
DOUG CRAMER I don't have the confidence to pull off a moustache.
RICH SOMMER Secretly, I wanted to look like Jimi Hendrix, but I could never quite pull it off.
BRYAN FERRY In the beginning I used to make one terrible play a game. Then I got so I'd make one a week and ...
LOU GEHRIG Attacking bad books is not only a waste of time but also bad for the character. If I find a book rea...
W.H. AUDEN I've learned any fool can write a bad ad, but it takes a real genius to keep his hands off a goo...
DANIEL J. BOORSTIN I think the fact is that anybody who goes into politics feels like 'I can make a difference'...
DREW BREES In the beginning I used to make one terrible play a game. Then I got so I'd make one a week and fina...
LOU GEHRIG I could make a difference.
CHRIS BURKE I wish I could pull shorts off. My wife tells me that I just can't. But that's okay. I'm...
ADAM DRIVER I know I can feel bad, when I get in a bad mood, and the world can look so sad, only you make me fee...
MADONNA The first thing I thought is this guy is going to shoot us. If he's crazy enough to come into a CVS,...
JOSEPH BLAKE I can never turn my creativity off.
CASEY WILSON I don't have any rock star demeanor to me. I just can't pull that off.
KINA GRANNIS Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Those who are clever, who have a Brain, never understand anything.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE It gets you nowhere if the other person's tail is only just in sight for the second half of the conv...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE If you want to make a song more hummy, add a few tiddely poms.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that h...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE
More Ilona Andrews
you might want to decide fast. We live in a dangerous world. If you see a chance to be happy, you ha...
ILONA ANDREWS Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.'....
'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted.
ILONA ANDREWS He put the book down. “As you wish.” He rose and walked past me. I lowered my sword, expecting h...
ILONA ANDREWS George grimaced. “Jack is spoiled. Things are hard for him, but he isn’t the only one who doesn�...
ILONA ANDREWS That's all right," she told him. "I can manage. I can sleep outside just fine."
Four pairs of e...
ILONA ANDREWS And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot."
She raised her hand. "Don't."
ILONA ANDREWS Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. He had the two wards of the fucking Marshal of the fucking Southern Pr...
ILONA ANDREWS Did I hurt you in the parking lot?"
"No, m'lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car."...
ILONA ANDREWS Doode," George said.
He'd practiced all morning but still didn't get it quite right. "Nope, mor...
ILONA ANDREWS You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible ...
ILONA ANDREWS Did those nice church ladies come by again?"
He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then t...
ILONA ANDREWS The mage pulled my knife out of his side and looked at it. “Nice knife.” The voice was deep but ...
ILONA ANDREWS When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and d...
ILONA ANDREWS Her philosophy was, if it had a pulse, it could be killed. I didn’t really have a philosophy, but ...
ILONA ANDREWS She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing…
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." ILONA ANDREWS Unfortunately, the Best Lord had condemned both vehicles as unsafe and instead I now leased a Pack J...
ILONA ANDREWS If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons.
ILONA ANDREWS Our relationship had been doomed form the start, because it was based on grief, and unlike love, gri...
ILONA ANDREWS Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.
ILONA ANDREWS Jack didn’t fully get Jesus. Audrey tried to explain it, and he could repeat it back to her, word ...
ILONA ANDREWS When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out.
I clappe...
ILONA ANDREWS Oh no, is it naked time?
ILONA ANDREWS This doesn't mean you're getting a discount."
Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll...
ILONA ANDREWS No matter what happens, you will always be Pack. Because you have that loyalty and restraint. Not hu...
ILONA ANDREWS Please, Kate. Suspend your dislike of me for a few moments and listen to what I have to say. It make...
ILONA ANDREWS He leaned his head to me, his neck so close to my lips, I felt the heat coming off his skin. His bre...
ILONA ANDREWS He poked his finger into my chest again. “Well, I have something to tell you: don’t let the sun ...
ILONA ANDREWS I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.
ILONA ANDREWS Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything.
ILONA ANDREWS He was going to take a dive into this lake. He just didn’t know it. Cerise rose, finding footing i...
ILONA ANDREWS I would try being friends with her, but she's too busy being a smartass."
"Now you know h...
ILONA ANDREWS The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey." "You're drinking tea a honey badger made," Jim sa...
ILONA ANDREWS My point is, I would never hurt you or your family.”
I raised my chin at him. “If you tried...
ILONA ANDREWS This is payback, isn't it?" Jim glared at me. "Don't be ridiculous," I told him. "As the Consort of ...
ILONA ANDREWS Look, he isn’t even concerned.”
I poured the tea. “He’s concerned, Mother. He just does...
ILONA ANDREWS Why were you in a vehicle with Kate, alone? What were you wearing? What was she wearing? How long we...
ILONA ANDREWS Enough," Curran said. An unmistakable command saturated his voice. Jim clicked his mouth shut. I cro...
ILONA ANDREWS Who snitched?"
"We have people monitoring police radio frequencies. They gave Jim a heads-up in...
ILONA ANDREWS Tall, with skin the color of rich coffee, and dressed all in black, Jim looked like he was carved fr...
ILONA ANDREWS I know it's late, but could you find a book for me? It's called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition ...
ILONA ANDREWS You know anything about investigative work?"
"Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt p...
ILONA ANDREWS An evil spark flared in his eyes. "Trade: raccoon for some answers.
ILONA ANDREWS Because you are the one. You are better than me in some things, and I am better than you in others.....
ILONA ANDREWS Kaldar smiled at her. Now there was a work of art. If she were just a girl and he were just a man, a...
ILONA ANDREWS She was pretty sure that if you died in the South, you'd have a layover in Atlanta before you reache...
ILONA ANDREWS You enjoyed it. It made you feel alive. You were looking kind of green."
You bastard....
ILONA ANDREWS When walking into the lair of the dragon after robbing his hoard, the least you could do is hold you...
ILONA ANDREWS Breaking into the house in the middle of the night just wasn't his style. He did his best work in pl...
ILONA ANDREWS The heavy eyelids snapped open. Jack froze.
A huge gold-and-amber eye, as big as a dinner plat...
ILONA ANDREWS Audrey turned to him, a sly little spark hiding in her eyes. "THe only man who gets to call me'love'...
ILONA ANDREWS Oh, I don't know. I might grow on you."
She furrowed her pretty eyebrows. "Like a cancer?"
ILONA ANDREWS Did I ever tell you that you are like sunshine in the middle of the night?
ILONA ANDREWS I need you to get down there, open the stalls inside, and panic the horses.”
“ ‘Panic’?...
ILONA ANDREWS Audrey kept moving with practiced quickness, stepping over roots protruding over the trail and pushi...
ILONA ANDREWS The way she sat now, leaning forward frowning, biting her pink bottom lip, her shirt dipping to reve...
ILONA ANDREWS George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expr...
ILONA ANDREWS The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I co...
ILONA ANDREWS He hit her with his best smile. Her eyes widened. She took a deep breath. 'Oh no, not that seductive...
ILONA ANDREWS At the door, Audrey called, "Are you coming?"
"No, just breathing hard, love." He glanced at he...
ILONA ANDREWS I never wanted to marry anyone before,” he said. “When two people marry, they surrender a small ...
ILONA ANDREWS Ask a man how much a dollar is worth, and he'll tell you, 'Almost nothing.' Try to take a dollar awa...
ILONA ANDREWS Stealers, keepers.
ILONA ANDREWS Oh, so it was a lifesaving kiss."
"Well, if you want to put it that way..."
ILONA ANDREWS I wouldn’t put it past you,” Kaldar said. “Or him. Who knows what the hell he might do?”
ILONA ANDREWS Well, shit," Dobe said. "I guess you're familiar with the law. You hit it over the head, set its hou...
ILONA ANDREWS Congratulations," he said, his voice dry. "You finally managed to find a woman as tragically noble a...
ILONA ANDREWS The judge's massive eyebrows crept up. "Kaldar. Are you the one speaking for the plaintiff today?" <...
ILONA ANDREWS Grandpa?" Declan raised his eyebrows.
"We keep him in the shed out back," Jack said helpfully. ...
ILONA ANDREWS Kaldar picked up a rock and tossed it into the clearing. It landed between two wards. A green stem s...
ILONA ANDREWS William's eyes glowed like two amber coals. She met his gaze and flinched. No emotion reflected in t...
ILONA ANDREWS Behind him Kaldar nudged Urow's youngest son. "Bet you he lasts at least thirty seconds."
"Um.....
ILONA ANDREWS She surveyed the carnage behind him. "Did you have fun?"
He showed her his teeth. "Yes.
ILONA ANDREWS Failure happened. The trick was to accept the risk and try anyway.
ILONA ANDREWS You say the sweetest things. And that spaghetti perfume you're wearing is to die for. No hobo could ...
ILONA ANDREWS He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable,...
ILONA ANDREWS You said he was a soldier. You don't suppose...?"
"Oh, Gods." Ignata blinked. "You think someth...
ILONA ANDREWS It depends. If I don't let you in, will you huff and puff and blow my house down?"
She had no ...
ILONA ANDREWS Oh, Gods."
His eyes shone with want and predatory satisfaction. "The name's William. It's a com...
ILONA ANDREWS Some women waited for a night in shining armor. She, apparently, had ended up with a knight in black...
ILONA ANDREWS It could be worse," he said finally. "Efrenia married an arsonist. Jake's wife is a kleptomaniac. I ...
ILONA ANDREWS How is it different?"
He rolled his head back, sable hair falling down on his shoulders. "With ...
ILONA ANDREWS Shane lowered his glasses on his nose and gave me his version of a severe stare.
I leaned a lit...
ILONA ANDREWS You'll lose."
"What makes you so sure?"
"You have no discipline. All you do is tear down s...
ILONA ANDREWS I know you'll tell me to fuck off, but I think Curran loves you. Truly loves you. And I think you lo...
ILONA ANDREWS Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.
ILONA ANDREWS You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you?"
The knot in my stomach eva...
ILONA ANDREWS I also stole a small yellow doughnut from the box of Duncan's doughnuts in the rec room and fed it t...
ILONA ANDREWS Rene, you want us to find you-don't-know-who and to retrieve his you-don't-know-what for you-won't-t...
ILONA ANDREWS If the lot of you survives, Curran will flay the skin off your backs," Doolittle said.
"That's ...
ILONA ANDREWS Tiny gold sparks flared in his irises. "You're in my rooms in my bathtub naked and you're still mout...
ILONA ANDREWS Hi, Your Majesty, we drugged your love muffin and then let her walk out into the dark, in the sn...
ILONA ANDREWS Kate Daniels, deadly swordmaster. Fear my twitching pinkie.
ILONA ANDREWS I've never seen such a collection of idiots in my whole life.' Doolittle shook his head. 'If you par...
ILONA ANDREWS I'm counting to ten in my head."
"Is it helping?"
"No."
"It doesn't help me with you ...
ILONA ANDREWS I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Ro...
ILONA ANDREWS Secret to what?"
"Secret to shutting you up," he said. "I just have to beat you till you're hal...
ILONA ANDREWS I've read your summary."
"And?"
"It's not incompetent."
Be still, my heart, so I don'...
ILONA ANDREWS I'll call you," he repeated.
"If you call me, I won't pick up the phone."
"You will wait b...
ILONA ANDREWS I flexed my wrist, popped a silver needle into my palm, and offered it to him.
'What's this?' ILONA ANDREWS If I fought for them and was crippled, they would all say nice things,and then they would replace me...
ILONA ANDREWS When I'm with him, I can feel myself getting better. It's like he's picking up broken pieces of me a...
ILONA ANDREWS You know," she said, stirring her tea, "the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with hi...
ILONA ANDREWS He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to ma...
ILONA ANDREWS You will not pass!” Roman thundered.
Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf.
ILONA ANDREWS I'll be busy for the next eight weeks, so let's set this for November 15th.
MENU
I wan...
ILONA ANDREWS No more tubs for me." I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. "They make me lose a...
ILONA ANDREWS This man was a rogue, not because circumstances forced him to be a criminal but because he was born ...
ILONA ANDREWS Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'"
I stared at him, shocked.
Th...
ILONA ANDREWS Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”
“Maybe you should have it...
ILONA ANDREWS She handed him a glass of water and two Aleve gelcaps. “They’re anti-inflammatories. They will d...
ILONA ANDREWS I know people who will gently persuade you to be forthcoming.
ILONA ANDREWS You think he's got 'government badass' tattooed on his chest?" I murmured.
A faint grimace skew...
ILONA ANDREWS I hit him on the back of the neck. He submerged. Help. I've drowned the Beast Lord.
ILONA ANDREWS The vampire leaned forward, tapping a scimitar claw. "Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?" ILONA ANDREWS The first rule of etiquette a boy learns when he's about to enter
society is that civility is d...
ILONA ANDREWS Everybody has something, that one thing they must do to feel happy. I think this is yours, and I wan...
ILONA ANDREWS Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.
ILONA ANDREWS Your sword is made out of your grandmother’s bones?”
“Okay, I see how it sounds weird whe...
ILONA ANDREWS Have you ever met someone and felt… I don't know how to describe it, felt a chance at having somet...
ILONA ANDREWS And then what?"
"I'll burn that bridge when I cross it.
ILONA ANDREWS If you come back to me, I'll never leave you", I whispered into the furry ear. "I'll make you all th...
ILONA ANDREWS Estene aleera hesaad de viren aneda." And now, you are forever mine.
ILONA ANDREWS What’s this ”
“A needle.”
“What should I do with it ” He’d walked right into...
ILONA ANDREWS Cute. I think I would prefer to be stabbed in the eye rather than be called cute.
ILONA ANDREWS Ready to put your claws where your mouth is, or are you going to cringe behind the big boys and yip ...
ILONA ANDREWS Curran shrugged and pulled me back to him. 'You don't pick the family you're born into. You pick the...
ILONA ANDREWS Give me an opportunity to fail," Saiman said. "I promise my corpse won't interrupt your 'I told you ...
ILONA ANDREWS Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Drivin...
ILONA ANDREWS You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep."
"I only did it once."
"On...
ILONA ANDREWS You’re taking a nap? Come on, Kate, I need you for this fight. Stop lying around.”
“You m...
ILONA ANDREWS Aha! So I’m not crazy.”
“You are most definitely crazy,” Derek said. “But in a derang...
ILONA ANDREWS I think you’re confused as to the nature of our relationship. You and I, we don’t get along. You...
ILONA ANDREWS I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. "One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd l...
ILONA ANDREWS Did he just rip out the engine?" I asked.
"Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Ma...
ILONA ANDREWS Saiman reached into the trunk and pulled out a pink tulle tutu.
“No.”
“Yes.” ILONA ANDREWS I take back what I said about the donkey,’’ Ascanio said. ‘’She’s awesome
ILONA ANDREWS You can’t blame me,” Ascanio said. “Anybody in my place would be concerned. You don’t even h...
ILONA ANDREWS Ascanio..."
"Yes, Consort?"
"I think you misunderstand the whole nature of what it means t...
ILONA ANDREWS I've been assigned to bodyguard you."
You've got to be kidding me.
Derek snorted. ILONA ANDREWS swore. “Barabas said you might say that. I’m supposed to tell you this.” Ascanio cleared his t...
ILONA ANDREWS Because that's what it would catch in the wild, a boar, right? I can't wait to see a pack of bunnyca...
ILONA ANDREWS Sit your ass down, Don Juanabe," Derek said.
"Don Juanabe?" Ascanio pulled out his swords.
ILONA ANDREWS Okay, pull me up."
The rope didn't move.
"Ascanio?" What was it now? Did he see a butterfl...
ILONA ANDREWS Say 'pop.'"
"Pop?"
"That was the sound of me pulling your head out of your ass.
ILONA ANDREWS And how did your day go?" I asked Ascanio.
He turned to me, a dreamy look on his pretty face....
ILONA ANDREWS Quick, Derek, it's your chance to shine," Ascanio said.
Derek gave him a withering look.
"...
ILONA ANDREWS Desandra shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, Kate? Have you thought of walking up to Hugh and telling him ...
ILONA ANDREWS Put your badass faces on and follow me.
ILONA ANDREWS Her face looked like it would shatter any second.
ILONA ANDREWS One day I'll kill him, you know.
I glanced at her. She was deadly serious.
ILONA ANDREWS Andrea raised her eyebrows. "Look at you, all high-speed."
"Yeah, you'd think I was a detective...
ILONA ANDREWS She put her hands over her face. Ah crap. What do I do now? Do I say something, do I not say somethi...
ILONA ANDREWS Andrea, in less than twelve hours, Atlanta will be full of demons. They will kill, feed, and release...
ILONA ANDREWS Are you happy?
When I can get out of my own way.
And the rest of the time?
The rest o...
ILONA ANDREWS It's not a loup cage, you know,' I told her. 'It's a holding cell. Or safe room. or secure room. I d...
ILONA ANDREWS Who is there with you?"
"Raphael"
Kate's voice snapped. "I'll be in Atlanta in...
ILONA ANDREWS Derek, you just don't say things like that to a woman. Keep going this way and you'll spend your lif...
ILONA ANDREWS We can do subtle," I assured her.
"It's our middle name," Andrea added.
For some odd reaso...
ILONA ANDREWS He glued the chair to my ass."
Silence.
"Is it still...attached?"
"I can't get it off...
ILONA ANDREWS Who is Hunter Becker?"
"Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston?"
"I would've preferre...
ILONA ANDREWS We don't need teenage bouda sex fiends as interns.
How do you know he is a sex fiend?
He i...
ILONA ANDREWS Would you like to work here with me?
We have no clients and the pay is shit.
ILONA ANDREWS Aha," Andrea said. "I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'.
ILONA ANDREWS What do you mean fainted?
Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after...
ILONA ANDREWS I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I ...
ILONA ANDREWS Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned.
"Would you like me to pull over and ...
ILONA ANDREWS It’s your duty as my best friend to be outraged with me.”
“I’m outraged!” I snarled....
ILONA ANDREWS I have a serious question."
"I will give a serious answer."
"Can a god be kill...
ILONA ANDREWS I batted my eyelashes and did my best to appear dumb as a board
ILONA ANDREWS The dark scary servant of all evil was on his way to rescue me. Somehow that thought failed to make ...
ILONA ANDREWS Your favorite volhv showed up half an hour ago, complaining about his lack of sleep and stupid gods....
ILONA ANDREWS Some people had attack dogs. Ghastek had attack lawyers.
ILONA ANDREWS The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was...
ILONA ANDREWS My mind struggled to formulate a coherent though, any thought. I opened my mouth. "Your pajamas have...
ILONA ANDREWS Only poor people are weird. Rich people are eccentric.
ILONA ANDREWS I was so happy to be out of there. “Barabas, if you weren’t batting
for the other team, I�...
ILONA ANDREWS I gave him my Order smile: sweet grin, hard eyes, reached over to my passenger seat, and pulled out ...
ILONA ANDREWS You think this is some sort of comedy going on here?” Collins gave him his tough stare.
A lit...
ILONA ANDREWS Bad days, good days, ‘I’ll cut you if you look at me the wrong way’ days. I’ll take them all...
ILONA ANDREWS You’re touching me,” I chided him.
He caressed my back, sliding his hand down, hitting eve...
ILONA ANDREWS Raphael turned me over and looked at me, his face close to mine. "You and I will never be done.You'r...
ILONA ANDREWS Are you implying that our relationship is like a Spanish soap opera?”
“I’m not imp...
ILONA ANDREWS Kate stood by the door with her arms crossed.
That was an anti-Curran pose. What the hell was t...
ILONA ANDREWS Someone pounded on the office door. Barabas moved to the door, slid aside the metal shutter covering...
ILONA ANDREWS My tablecloth was missing in action and long, jagged scratches covered the table's surface.The scrat...
ILONA ANDREWS Since we’re playing that game… I tilted my face up to his and gave him a lovesick gaze.
“...
ILONA ANDREWS The rage of the Beast Lord was a terrible thing to behold. Some people stormed, some punched things,...
ILONA ANDREWS At first glance you looked at Kate and thought “fighter,” maybe merc. Five inches taller than me...
ILONA ANDREWS Curran and Kate stood by the door.
“I can’t believe you decided to come down here and check...
ILONA ANDREWS You’re the most experienced investigator I’ve got who’s not tied up in something, and I can’...
ILONA ANDREWS Kate smirked.
"What?"
"Your horse looks pink."
"So?"
"If you paste some stars on...
ILONA ANDREWS It’s never a good thing when the black volhv says “Uh-oh” and then runs for his life.
ILONA ANDREWS Our standard rate. A doubloon a day."
It was generous. More than generous--some families would ...
ILONA ANDREWS So, regarding that tidbit about your having a fertile imagination when it comes to private activitie...
ILONA ANDREWS Rumors said that if he got drunk enough, he sometimes got his jollies by stripping naked and scaring...
ILONA ANDREWS The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell a...
ILONA ANDREWS Fuck the pack. I gave them fifteen years of my life. I fought for them, bled for them, and the momen...
ILONA ANDREWS Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it!
ILONA ANDREWS I'm welding the bimbo room shut.
ILONA ANDREWS Was his body made out of orange rocks and did he at any point yell 'It's clobbering time'?"
"I ...
ILONA ANDREWS