If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN Not to sound too much like Christopher Guest in 'Waiting for Guffman,' but on Thanksgiving y...
TED ALLEN My whole problem is that all of my favorite things at Thanksgiving are the starches, and everyone is...
TED ALLEN Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married wit...
TIM ALLEN I went in saying I wanted to be the food guy.
TED ALLEN Because the show is popular, people do recognize us on the streets.
TED ALLEN People who hardly ever cook at all, suddenly at the holidays, feel like it's their responsibilit...
TED ALLEN I think what I do differently from a lot of TV chefs is that I break down barriers and make fine foo...
TED ALLEN The best way to learn is live, in person, cooking, feeling, smelling and tasting, but TV is the seco...
TED ALLEN In recent years, I've been writing because I'm fortunate enough to work in the world of food...
TED ALLEN Sesame oil is probably my favorite condiment, period.
TED ALLEN However, I was a restaurant critic at Chicago magazine before I worked at Esquire, and I've been...
TED ALLEN For me, the kitchen is the most special room in the house. It's a place for adventure - not drud...
TED ALLEN Cooking for people is an enormously significant expression of generosity and soulfulness, and entert...
TED ALLEN Thom is one of those wonderful people to cook for because he absolutely loves it, just loves it. He ...
TED ALLEN I like to have friends in the kitchen and make a big mess and use every pot in the kitchen.
TED ALLEN I'm a home cook and love to read about food, but I'm not trained as a chef. I'm just rea...
TED ALLEN To me, the kitchen is a place of adventure and entirely fun, not drudgery. I can't think of anyt...
TED ALLEN My place in Chicago is a 105 year old house, but I really like contemporary spaces too, so it's ...
TED ALLEN Believe me, I understand the need for easy and speedy. After a 12-hour day of shooting 'Chopped,...
TED ALLEN One of the smartest things you can do on 'Chopped' is to take one of those ingredients and m...
TED ALLEN Planning a dinner party in a way that you're actually capable of getting it done without panicki...
TED ALLEN I had a little epiphany when I was a writer at 'Chicago' magazine. I sat down to dinner at t...
TED ALLEN It's a 12-hour cooking class for me on the set of 'Chopped.' You'd think I'd get...
TED ALLEN When the idea of 'Chopped' surfaced, it was originally meant to be taped at some guy's m...
TED ALLEN I cook everything. I love Mediterranean cooking, I love Asian cooking. I do lots of Japanese noodles...
TED ALLEN Without a good cultural policy, without adequate help, we will always have individualists, shooting ...
RALPH ALLEN I paint according to the moment and the theme. I don't have any prejudice. Life concerns me.
RALPH ALLEN People are predominant in my paintings. Although they are not obvious, you can feel their presence.
RALPH ALLEN I worked three and then six hours a day in my studio with strict discipline and emotion. I obtained ...
RALPH ALLEN At that time, the academic orientation was rather technical contrary to that of the university, wher...
RALPH ALLEN The magic of creation has always fascinated me.
RALPH ALLEN My first concern was to take care of my drawing. I did not have any knowledge in arts, especially Ha...
RALPH ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN I'm from a generation of fantastic actresses. It's a big pool of really wonderful actresses,...
KAREN ALLEN People want to see a movie that casts a mature woman across from a mature man.
KAREN ALLEN There's something so wonderful about being an actor in New York.
KAREN ALLEN I feel as though I would be delighted to come back into working in the film world, and working in th...
KAREN ALLEN If there are no other wonderful roles that come my way, I have a quite an interesting, dynamic life.
KAREN ALLEN The secrecy thing has gotten to be more and more prevalent in films, and maybe that's good. It&#...
KAREN ALLEN A lot of times when I've been offered film series and stuff, if they shoot in Los Angeles, I los...
KAREN ALLEN I don't necessarily like being defined by my profession.
KAREN ALLEN I find myself really feeling like it's possible that maybe the greater contribution I'm goin...
KAREN ALLEN I said to myself, 'I've waited a long time in my life to have a child, and I'm missing i...
KAREN ALLEN Let's just say I decided that while my son is young I don't want to do projects that would t...
KAREN ALLEN As far as acting in films, there is not much out there that is very interesting to do. The ones that...
KAREN ALLEN Eventually you love people - friends or lovers - because of their flaws.
KAREN ALLEN I'm about as healthy as a person can be. I quit smoking seven or eight years ago.
KAREN ALLEN My son was born somewhat late in my life and I just found myself really feeling like I didn't wa...
KAREN ALLEN I've never done anything for money. My first love is things of limited commercial appeal. I coul...
KAREN ALLEN I thought, I need to reinvent myself. I want every day of life to be wonderful, fascinating, interes...
KAREN ALLEN I don't know if I've ever played a character who's close to me. There have been some ele...
KAREN ALLEN Idleness does drive me crazy, but I'd rather read or write than do anything just to work. A kind...
KAREN ALLEN I loved living and breathing theatre so much that I decided I had to find a way to bring my desire t...
KAREN ALLEN I just felt like I had to create a life for myself where I was more independent.
KAREN ALLEN You know, I don't really understand a suburban environment. I want to be out in the woods, I wan...
KAREN ALLEN I've always done things the hard way. I was born like a piece of tangled yarn. The job is trying...
KAREN ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN If I have committed any culinary atrocities, please forgive me.
TED ALLEN A man is not rightly conditioned until he is a happy, healthy, and prosperous being; and happiness, ...
JAMES ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN So now is an opportunity for us to stand up and have a good, strong immigration policy to make sure ...
ALLEN WEST Stem cell research holds out the promise of finding cures and treatments for a wide range of disease...
TOM ALLEN No temptation can gravitate to a man unless there is that is his heart which is capable of respondin...
JAMES ALLEN A man is literally what he thinks.
JAMES ALLEN The man who sows wrong thoughts and deeds and prays that God will bless him is in the position of a ...
JAMES ALLEN The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and y...
JAMES ALLEN You can hide from the devil, but he'll always find you.
ALLEN IVERSON The little platoon of the black community is the church. Our Christian faith is based on individual ...
ALLEN WEST I don't want to just go to the playoffs, I don't want to go to the playoffs and win the firs...
ALLEN IVERSON There's a lot of bitterness, there's a lot of anger out there. We all have to work hard to h...
ALLEN BOYD The three theater peeps I would love to dine with are Mel Brooks, because he is so funny; Stephen So...
NANCY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN Michael Ralph brilliantly plays the street prophet, a West Indian who foreshadows the Harlem riot.
DEBBIE ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN The weight of the world is love. Under the burden of solitude, under the burden of dissatisfaction.
ALLEN GINSBERG Nobody saves America by sniffing cocaine. Jiggling your knees blankeyed in the rain, when it snows i...
ALLEN GINSBERG I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging them...
ALLEN GINSBERG Whoever controls the media, the images, controls the culture.
ALLEN GINSBERG Trust free people and free enterprise as opposed to meddling, burdensome government.
GEORGE ALLEN In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of c...
TIM ALLEN Every year, thousands of Californians flee that populous paradise for tax-eased small government oas...
ALLEN WEST The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN From 1971 onwards, the Memorial Day holiday was officially observed on the last Monday in May and be...
ALLEN WEST The argument on the other side of special rights is completely bogus. It's bogus because you cou...
TOM ALLEN I've experienced (more times than I like to admit) avoiding slightly uncomfortable conversations wit...
DAVID ALLEN I need milk' and 'I need to decide whether to buy this company' both tie up space in psychic RAM. Th...
DAVID ALLEN The base salaries for all management employees are being reviewed with those below market to be adju...
DAVID ALLEN By printing cases on-line, these printers provide a dependable means to substantially reduce packagi...
DAVID ALLEN This partnership of resources is a positive for our customers and farmers.
DAVID ALLEN There's a subtle but critical difference between something that is long term and something in the ca...
DAVID ALLEN We're still waiting to hear what resources are needed.
DAVID ALLEN We were playing hardball and almost twisting their arm.
DAVID ALLEN I think it's just something to mislead the jury. And I don't think there's a problem anyway, because...
DAVID ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN I think all of those things, but certainly the booze really brought out the really unreasonable side...
RICK ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN Polanski's 'Chinatown' is a film that I have purposefully and consciously imitated, but ...
ALLEN COULTER I like to get home, flop on the couch, and watch Sky Sports News. I'm just your average bloke.
ALFIE ALLEN Fifty-four forty, or fight.
WILLIAM ALLEN You don't want to hear about how much money I donate to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America or t...
ALLEN IVERSON Quite simply, federal laws already on the books aimed at stopping the flow of illegal immigration mu...
ALLEN WEST We had to match their physicality. They [officials] let everything go.
ADAM ALLEN You've got to put it out of your mind.
ADAM ALLEN I've never done this before. This is the best feeling in the world.
ADAM ALLEN We want to show how the university feels and show how the students feel and see how much of that is ...
ADAM ALLEN I know that a lot of gay people feel like if you're openly gay, by doing so you're sacrificing being...
ADAM ALLEN We knew the way they (Cougars) played, they were going to let us back in the game. We just kept batt...
ADAM ALLEN We knew the way (the Cougars) played they were going to let us back in the game. We just kept battli...
ADAM ALLEN I got a little present. I'm just glad we got the win. It's a big deal in Milton. We have great fans,...
ADAM ALLEN They tried to make other people beat them, which we did.
ADAM ALLEN That's probably the most disciplined team I've ever seen in high school basketball. All the teams in...
ADAM ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN The problem is that once the untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy -...
STEVE ALLEN It's the most complete team they've had since they had Xavier Lee and Kenny Scott.
STEVE ALLEN Other than chauffeuring, (our duties are) helping them find places to eat and helping them find nece...
STEVE ALLEN Other than chauffeuring, (our duties are) helping them find places to eat and helping them find nece...
STEVE ALLEN What we want is a healthy canopy. If we go in there and say, 'Just plant a bunch of trees,' they'll ...
STEVE ALLEN If you could make a car engine that was as efficient as one of these black hole engines you could ge...
STEVE ALLEN The hair is real; it's the head that's fake
STEVE ALLEN They wanted to do some inexpensive shopping at Wal-Mart.
STEVE ALLEN Based on the facts we have, police reports here give us cause for concern that there's other victims...
STEVE ALLEN Impartial observers from other planets would consider ours an utterly bizarre enclave if it were pop...
STEVE ALLEN ...we are entitled to make almost any reasonable assumption, but should resist making conclusions un...
STEVE ALLEN I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
FRED ALLEN Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
FRED ALLEN Where were you fellows when the paper was blank?
FRED ALLEN A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
FRED ALLEN An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about t...
FRED ALLEN I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
FRED ALLEN All television is children's television.
FRED ALLEN If you took all the sincerity in Hollywood and put it in the navel of a fruit fly, you'd still have ...
FRED ALLEN I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
FRED ALLEN I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
FRED ALLEN When you get through all the phony tinsel of Hollywood, you find the genuine tinsel underneath.
FRED ALLEN A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide nothing can ...
FRED ALLEN You hit road blocks in life, but I'm living proof that you can overcome those road blocks and be...
ALLEN IVERSON I don't think people think about Zook anymore at Florida. He's just a memory there now.
ALLEN WALLACE If he (Schilling) goes to Washington that will be a giant positive for them in many different ways.
ALLEN WALLACE A player makes a name for himself and then causes younger players to look and see what can be accomp...
ALLEN WALLACE If you win the mythical recruiting title, it shows you're focused, you've got momentum and that you'...
ALLEN WALLACE They [Stoops and Carroll] have a unique ability to plan for the short term and the long term at the ...
ALLEN WALLACE It's always harder to stay at the top. Soon they're going to find out what it's like to try to recru...
ALLEN WALLACE You don't see Penn State hanging on in the latter stages of these recruiting races for difference ma...
ALLEN WALLACE I think it's case of Penn State not focusing on the right kids. You don't see them often bringing in...
ALLEN WALLACE They have the stature now where they can appeal to anyone, anyplace.
ALLEN WALLACE What we are seeking is for the federal government to pick up the gap, ... The amount that they offer...
ALLEN WALKER I'm attached to my sailors. I'm not attached to my ship. (As) long as I bring my sailors back home t...
ALLEN WALKER If I had my druthers, we would have been finished with this months ago,
ALLEN WALKER I like living in a smaller town better than I do the city. People in Memphis are spread out doing th...
ALLEN WALKER We lost everything in the house as far as the house goes. Didn't have no insurance on none of it.
ALLEN WALKER It finally seems to be the right time. We seem to have an increased interest in nursing in our stude...
ALLEN WALKER A lot of the romance of the West is in here.
ALLEN TUCKER So, we are probably right about on average for the year. It was just a tough way to get there.
ALLEN TUCKER Our neighborhood has seen plenty of rain this year,
ALLEN TUCKER The weather this year sure has been a challenge.
ALLEN TUCKER We enact many laws that manufacture criminals, and then a few that punish them
ALLEN TUCKER We enact many laws that manufacture criminals, and then a few that punish them.
ALLEN TUCKER There's so much love that has been sent to that area, ... And I'm proud to be one of the senders. Bu...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT This is quite a time. Maybe the most unique time ever for me. But I can't thank everyone enough for ...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT It's surprising to me how much has happened in such a short length of time,
ALLEN TOUSSAINT Dr. John is phenomenal. Dr. John is a heavyweight and one of the nicest guys in the world -- unhurri...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT Southern Nights.
ALLEN TOUSSAINT Play Something Sweet (Brickyard Blues).
ALLEN TOUSSAINT Wow. Good heavens. I'm getting drenched just looking at these pictures. The water is whipping my bod...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT [Yet other artists and culture mavens say that the city has always swayed to its own meandering rhyt...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT holed up at the New Orleans Superdome hoping to get on a bus for Houston's Astrodome.
ALLEN TOUSSAINT the great American songbook.
ALLEN TOUSSAINT We have become a little Main Street. These shops are out there every single Saturday selling mostly ...
ALLEN THOMPSON This community has been outstanding. There are a lot of differences of opinion in this community, bu...
ALLEN THOMPSON We've become the place where people come to meet. Because we are in the center of town, people will ...
ALLEN THOMPSON It has been very, very exciting. It has really grown.
ALLEN THOMPSON It was obviously a long day.
ALLEN TERRELL We struggled all week. We just couldn't quite get it going. We may have overlooked it a bit mentally...
ALLEN TERRELL I never really know what is good or not, how much you win by. If you win by one, five, 10, 20, we're...
ALLEN TERRELL We just played real solid from one through five. When we've got all five guys playing well at one to...
ALLEN TERRELL We've been waiting all year for someone to step up and grab hold of that fifth spot, and he's obviou...
ALLEN TERRELL I think [the struggles] helped him see the mind-set he needed to see through the changes he was maki...
ALLEN TERRELL We're a heck of a team, too.
ALLEN TERRELL See?" I crowed. "I know what I'm doing. Two weeks, tops, and you'll be begging to dip your fries in ...
ELISE ALLEN Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together?
Some things are too strange and str...
EMERY ALLEN I’m with you in Rockland
where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter
ALLEN GINSBERG I’m with you in Rockland
where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter
ALLEN GINSBERG Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.
ALLEN SAUNDERS Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.
ALLEN GINSBERG Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN