Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.
TOMMY ARMOUR I've suffered from all of the hang-ups known, and none is as bad as the telephone.
RICHARD ARMOUR In larger things we are convivial; what causes trouble is the trivial.
RICHARD ARMOUR Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world.
RICHARD ARMOUR It is all right to hold a conversation but you should let go of it now and then.
RICHARD ARMOUR It looks like it's coming straight for us in Dominica. We're going to start preparing the hotel tomo...
DAVID ARMOUR We really had to make believers out of MPS to let them know that we're serious about what we've comm...
DAVID ARMOUR It looks like it's coming straight for us in Dominica, ... We're going to start preparing the hotel ...
DAVID ARMOUR I just want us to be known as a football team, ... A program.
DAVID ARMOUR It made me happy but sad at the same time,
DAVID ARMOUR I was nervous because any time you start a new program and you're new yourself into being a head coa...
DAVID ARMOUR The hard part about being a head coach, especially when you have a program that's new, is getting th...
DAVID ARMOUR We are a new program but we're not the typical new program in that we're not going to roll over for ...
DAVID ARMOUR Some people don't even expect us to score on these teams, ... We score twice, that might break their...
DAVID ARMOUR I just pulled up two of my boats out of the water. The gas stations are full. People are filling the...
DAVID ARMOUR Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instan...
RICHARD ARMOUR Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead ...
RICHARD ARMOUR It is all right to hold a conversation but you should let go of it now and then
RICHARD ARMOUR That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye
RICHARD ARMOUR Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not
RICHARD ARMOUR Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instan...
RICHARD ARMOUR Middle -age is the time of life, that a man first notices - in his wife.
RICHARD ARMOUR The hand is quicker than the eye is,/ but somewhat slower than the fly is.
RICHARD ARMOUR Rockefeller made his money in oil, which he discovered at the bottom of wells. Oil was considered cr...
RICHARD ARMOUR Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people
RICHARD ARMOUR It's exciting going to a good team and getting to play with Fred. I know him and how he plays so tha...
AZIVE ARMOUR Anybody can cut prices, but it takes brains to make a better article
PHILIP ARMOUR There is one element that is worth it's weight in gold, and that is loyalty. It will cover a mulitiu...
PHILIP ARMOUR The most abysmal advise ever given by the ignorant to the stupid.
TOMMY ARMOUR Just knock hell out of it with your right hand.
TOMMY ARMOUR Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result
TOMMY ARMOUR Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age.
RICHARD ARMOUR That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye
RICHARD ARMOUR I've gone through stretches the past two years where I've missed five or six cuts in a row during th...
RYAN ARMOUR I started off real well today by going 3-under through the first four holes. It is nice to have play...
RYAN ARMOUR I started off real well by going three-under through four holes. The shot I hit on No. 2 could have ...
RYAN ARMOUR The shot I hit on the second hole could very easily have missed the cup and rolled 40 feet by. That ...
RYAN ARMOUR I feel good down here. The course suits my eye. The course is in such great shape. The greens are ve...
RYAN ARMOUR The credit card interchange system serves as a hidden tax, both on merchants and consumers, and rais...
HANK ARMOUR Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people.
RICHARD ARMOUR The credit card interchange system serves as a hidden tax, both on merchants and consumers, and rais...
HANK ARMOUR Our age group is more project-oriented. And they won't flinch about spending money while our parents...
JANET ARMOUR We tend to own our houses and the kids are grown and with a double income, it has become the number ...
JANET ARMOUR A lot of our clientele are boomers who are homeowners and as the kids get older and they have more t...
JANET ARMOUR Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who neve...
OGDEN NASH Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
OGDEN NASH If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to wo...
OGDEN NASH Too clever is dumb.
OGDEN NASH Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someo...
OGDEN NASH I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is r...
OGDEN NASH I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she w...
OGDEN NASH Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
OGDEN NASH People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they r...
OGDEN NASH One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
OGDEN NASH No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.
OGDEN NASH Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you ho...
OGDEN NASH The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
OGDEN NASH The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
OGDEN NASH I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that t...
OGDEN NASH If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
OGDEN NASH Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment linge...
OGDEN NASH There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and tha...
OGDEN NASH To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whene...
OGDEN NASH Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who can...
OGDEN NASH If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or ...
OGDEN NASH A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.
OGDEN NASH A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle...
OGDEN NASH America has run the world for at least the past 50 years, and when you're at the top that long, you ...
FRANK OGDEN Poets arent very usefulBecause they aren't consumeful or produceful..
OGDEN NASH Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate ...
OGDEN NASH A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
OGDEN NASH You can take it as understood That your luck changes only if it's good.
OGDEN NASH Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.
OGDEN NASH They take the paper and they read the headlines, So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard ...
OGDEN NASH Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
OGDEN NASH He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentenc...
OGDEN NASH I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she wa...
OGDEN NASH He without benefit of scruples
His fun and money soon quadruples.
OGDEN NASH Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
OGDEN NASH Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
OGDEN NASH The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.
OGDEN NASH Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.
OGDEN NASH Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell...
OGDEN NASH I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
OGDEN NASH There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a cl...
OGDEN NASH They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard ...
OGDEN NASH A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
OGDEN NASH No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and ...
OGDEN NASH Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.
OGDEN NASH A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the co...
OGDEN NASH Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
OGDEN NASH And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, onl...
OGDEN NASH I use many props. The props act as cue cards reminding me of what to say next.
TOM OGDEN I think that I shall never see
a billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fa...
OGDEN NASH Some primal termite knocked on wood;
and tasted it, and found it good.
That is why your Cousin...
OGDEN NASH Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's ...
OGDEN NASH I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so...
OGDEN NASH Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
OGDEN NASH How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!
OGDEN NASH If some confectioners were willing
To let the shape announce the filling,
We'd encounter fewer...
OGDEN NASH Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disap...
OGDEN NASH Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
OGDEN NASH Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman wh...
OGDEN NASH Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it
OGDEN NASH Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope i...
OGDEN NASH I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'l...
OGDEN NASH Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday...
OGDEN NASH One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
OGDEN NASH The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
OGDEN NASH The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make u...
OGDEN NASH Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
OGDEN NASH Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them
OGDEN NASH Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.
OGDEN NASH O misery, misery, mumble and moan!
Someone invented the telephone,
And interrupted a nation's ...
OGDEN NASH Indoors or out, no one relaxes
In March, that month of wind and taxes,
The wind will presently...
OGDEN NASH Once I have heard the story or joke used twice by other speakers or entertainer, I avoid it.
TOM OGDEN Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means having to g...
OGDEN NASH Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
OGDEN NASH There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the bes...
OGDEN NASH Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
OGDEN NASH To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Wh...
OGDEN NASH The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
OGDEN NASH Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
OGDEN NASH I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
OGDEN NASH Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently dis...
OGDEN NASH Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.
OGDEN NASH They gave us everything we could handle. They're one of the best 1-4 teams I've ever seen.
BUD OGDEN He was still a huge question mark. It wasn't until he started (with WVBC) that he had the time and t...
BUD OGDEN If he was going to beat us, it would be from the line.
BUD OGDEN He's kind of unique. I expect big things out of him.
BUD OGDEN I'll be disappointed if we don't do well in league. I want to leave it broad like that.
BUD OGDEN Tuesday is a huge one and if we can take care of business, it looks like a time where anybody can be...
BUD OGDEN Frankie has improved and improved and improved.
BUD OGDEN We couldn't have written an ending to this rivalry better. From our perspective, we snatched a victo...
BUD OGDEN We did what we had to do to win. We got rebounds when we had to and got to loose balls. Players step...
BUD OGDEN Nothing would make me happier. I know that program inside and out. That's a ways off and a lot can h...
BUD OGDEN Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
OGDEN NASH Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long.
OGDEN NASH Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -
Did you ever try b...
OGDEN NASH The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of t...
OGDEN NASH He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples.
OGDEN NASH The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon.
Let others say his heart...
OGDEN NASH Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.
OGDEN NASH People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they ...
OGDEN NASH The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed,...
OGDEN NASH Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long.
OGDEN NASH Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never fo...
OGDEN NASH I think that I shall never see
a billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboard...
OGDEN NASH Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
OGDEN NASH People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
OGDEN NASH People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they reall...
OGDEN NASH Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone e...
OGDEN NASH The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
OGDEN NASH I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I&...
OGDEN NASH Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the bro...
OGDEN NASH Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most ...
OGDEN NASH He's a legend. He deserves respect.
CLAY OGDEN They were on a roll. There was definitely a momentum switch at the tail end of the game.
BUD OGDEN There's good news and bad news. We're definitely nowhere near being out of the woods.
CYNTHIA OGDEN Bankers are just like anybody else, except richer
OGDEN NASH We've seen an increase in obesity in men and we've seen an increase in overweight in both boys and g...
CYNTHIA OGDEN I was particularly concerned about seeing the increase in children, because we know that children wh...
CYNTHIA OGDEN About 17 percent of children are overweight and about a third of adults are obese.
CYNTHIA OGDEN Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return...
OGDEN NASH I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was prepa...
OGDEN NASH Tonight’s December thirty-first,
Something is about to burst.
The clock is crouching, da...
OGDEN NASH Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
OGDEN NASH How quickly the gun was pulled, it didn't seem like there was rational thinking there so that's what...
AMANDA OGDEN He had pulled a gun and said, excuse my language here, but said, 'I'll (expletive) shoot her, I'll (...
AMANDA OGDEN There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, And that is to have either a cl...
OGDEN NASH Our dog kind of got a little jumpy ... and the dogs went to kind of say hello and he swung his stick...
AMANDA OGDEN I prefer to forget both pairs of glasses and pass my declining years saluting strange women and gran...
OGDEN NASH Purity is obscurity.
OGDEN NASH Middle age ends and senescence begins, The day your descendants outnumber your friends
OGDEN NASH Given the Court of Appeals decision, this is a fair resolution for the American taxpayer.
DAVID OGDEN Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think their children are naïve.
OGDEN NASH Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buyi...
OGDEN NASH The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex. I think it clever of the tur...
OGDEN NASH Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives ...
OGDEN NASH They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and they've heard ...
OGDEN NASH Some tortures are physical and some are mental, but the one that's both is dental.
OGDEN NASH Some people's money is merited/ And other people's is inherited.
OGDEN NASH Do you think my mind is maturing late,Or simply rotted early?
OGDEN NASH If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work
OGDEN NASH Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
OGDEN NASH Women would rather be right than reasonable
OGDEN NASH People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they ...
OGDEN NASH There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the bes...
OGDEN NASH To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenev...
OGDEN NASH Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker
OGDEN NASH Now, anybody whom a German hates, He presently exterminates, But he who exterminates a French Is nev...
OGDEN NASH Life is sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
OGDEN NASH To be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
OGDEN NASH You scour the Bowery, ransack the Bronx,/ Through funeral parlors and honky-tonks./ From river to ri...
OGDEN NASH If called by a panther,/ don't anther.
OGDEN NASH Someone invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumber, Ringing wrong but similar number...
OGDEN NASH One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence
OGDEN NASH Don't mark up the Library's copy, you fool! Librarians are Unprankable. They'll track you down! They...
CHARLES OGDEN He worked as hard as any other pilot, and his stick and throttle are above most others.
CLAY OGDEN Every Englishman knows one thing - that to be an Englishman is the best thing there is.
OGDEN NASH