No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.


Ogden Nash

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He without benefit of scruples
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Do you think my mind is maturing late,Or simply rotted early?
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If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work
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Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
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Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker
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Life is sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
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To be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
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You scour the Bowery, ransack the Bronx,/ Through funeral parlors and honky-tonks./ From river to ri...
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If called by a panther,/ don't anther.
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Someone invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumber, Ringing wrong but similar number...
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence
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Every Englishman knows one thing - that to be an Englishman is the best thing there is.
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The cow is of the bovine ilk; One end is moo, the other, milk
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And one of his partners asked ''Has he vertigo?'' and the other glanced out and down and said ''Oh n...
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One would be in less danger from the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith were more fun t...
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Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for
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An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no...
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Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind, But it is very difficult to treat because it cannot even...
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Were it not for frustration and humiliation
I suppose the human race would get ideas above its ...
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Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny –
Did you e...
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The camel has a single hump;/ The dromedary, two;/ Or else the other way around./ I'm never sure. Ar...
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either you get eaten by a wolf today or else the shepherd saves you from the wolf so he can sell you...
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Which the Chicken and Which the Egg?

He drinks because she scolds, he thinks;
She th...
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Home is heaven and orgies are vile/ But you need an orgy, once in a while.
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In the world of mules there are no rules.
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A man is quite dishonorable to sell himself, For anything other than quite a lot of pelf
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In the words of the poet, When Duty whispers low, Thou must, this erstwhile youth replies, I just ca...
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At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing in the South Station
An...
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Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
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America has run the world for at least the past 50 years, and when you're at the top that long, you ...
FRANK OGDEN
I use many props. The props act as cue cards reminding me of what to say next.
TOM OGDEN
Once I have heard the story or joke used twice by other speakers or entertainer, I avoid it.
TOM OGDEN
They gave us everything we could handle. They're one of the best 1-4 teams I've ever seen.
BUD OGDEN
He was still a huge question mark. It wasn't until he started (with WVBC) that he had the time and t...
BUD OGDEN
If he was going to beat us, it would be from the line.
BUD OGDEN
He's kind of unique. I expect big things out of him.
BUD OGDEN
I'll be disappointed if we don't do well in league. I want to leave it broad like that.
BUD OGDEN
Tuesday is a huge one and if we can take care of business, it looks like a time where anybody can be...
BUD OGDEN
Frankie has improved and improved and improved.
BUD OGDEN
We couldn't have written an ending to this rivalry better. From our perspective, we snatched a victo...
BUD OGDEN
We did what we had to do to win. We got rebounds when we had to and got to loose balls. Players step...
BUD OGDEN
Nothing would make me happier. I know that program inside and out. That's a ways off and a lot can h...
BUD OGDEN
He's a legend. He deserves respect.
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They were on a roll. There was definitely a momentum switch at the tail end of the game.
BUD OGDEN
There's good news and bad news. We're definitely nowhere near being out of the woods.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
We've seen an increase in obesity in men and we've seen an increase in overweight in both boys and g...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
I was particularly concerned about seeing the increase in children, because we know that children wh...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
About 17 percent of children are overweight and about a third of adults are obese.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
How quickly the gun was pulled, it didn't seem like there was rational thinking there so that's what...
AMANDA OGDEN
He had pulled a gun and said, excuse my language here, but said, 'I'll (expletive) shoot her, I'll (...
AMANDA OGDEN
Our dog kind of got a little jumpy ... and the dogs went to kind of say hello and he swung his stick...
AMANDA OGDEN
Given the Court of Appeals decision, this is a fair resolution for the American taxpayer.
DAVID OGDEN
Don't mark up the Library's copy, you fool! Librarians are Unprankable. They'll track you down! They...
CHARLES OGDEN
He worked as hard as any other pilot, and his stick and throttle are above most others.
CLAY OGDEN
It'll be no picnic. We're going to have to shoot the ball better or it's going to be a long afternoo...
BUD OGDEN
Cab drivers are living proof that practice does not make perfect
HOWARD OGDEN
The guy can just roll the rock. The putt he made on 17 was something. The way he has it going right ...
CLAY OGDEN
(Handy) is just about the only player we can depend upon to individually create shots and make it.
BUD OGDEN
It's during childhood that our patterns often are set. Overweight adolescents often become obese adu...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
Obviously there has to be some upper limit. I just don't know where it's going to be.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
I was surprised that we could see an upward trend in such a short time among overweight children and...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
It looks like it's leveling off. We'll need more data over the next few years to know for sure, but ...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
It looks like it's leveling off.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
I didn't know if we would be able to detect an increase and I was surprised that we did. It's a conc...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
It does look good for women. Obesity may be stabilizing.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
Basically, men are catching up to women.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
There's definitely a growing gap between African-American culture and baseball. The doors Jackie Rob...
DAVID OGDEN
We are looking at possible future layoffs.
DAVID OGDEN
We allege that in carrying out that campaign, they pulled no punches, ... For decades, they repeated...
DAVID OGDEN
The resolution of these issues ensures that this evidence of one of the most tragic events in Americ...
DAVID OGDEN
Today's decision by the arbitration panel secures the original Zapruder film for the public and guar...
DAVID OGDEN
[An attorney for Ladner said yesterday that he could not comment on the statement.] I haven't seen i...
DAVID OGDEN
It's our belief that presidential papers belong to all the American people.
DAVID OGDEN
There have been discussions between a group of trustees and Dr. Ladner, which are designed, we under...
DAVID OGDEN
The guy can just roll the rock, period. The way he has it going right now - he's looking the way he ...
CLAY OGDEN
The guy can just roll the rock, period.
CLAY OGDEN
It was amazing. I grew up watching him play, and now to get to witness it first hand was incredible....
CLAY OGDEN
I would say some people change drivers one or two times a year.
CLAY OGDEN
I don't know what it is about the second round, but we just seem to step it up. The second round is ...
CLAY OGDEN
You've got to keep the gas on and keep it going.
CLAY OGDEN
I was kind of joking and I actually said that I hoped I play her. And here we go.
CLAY OGDEN
We don't want him acclimated to people. In order to survive they've got to keep hating people.
FRANK OGDEN