I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.
Anonymous
Related
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.
ANONYMOUS I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.
DR. SEUSS I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
DR. SEUSS I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells.
DOCTOR SEUSS Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed.
ALEXANDER KING Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed.
RABBI HILLEL I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.
DR. SEUSS My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.
PHOTO I find that protein wakes up my brain and gets me ready for the rest of my day.
MARISA TOMEI During the week my alarm wakes me up at 6 A.M., so the latest I can sleep on Saturdays is about 7 A....
BOBBI BROWN Men should be like coffee, hot sweet and strong
DUTCH PROVERB No alaram clock needed. My passion wakes me up.. !
KYRIE IRVING I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
EDDIE IZZARD Aye, well, I've got my garden.
LIKE I I told my Nike representative, 'Why didn't you guys use me for this?''' Williams said, laughing.
LIKE I On the interception, I was out of bounds,
LIKE I casually made his 'abort black fetuses' argument.
LIKE I I can field my position. If I start worrying about being ready for a line drive too soon that means ...
LIKE I I told him that he played a great game,'' said Falcons quarterback Michael Vick , who like Manning w...
LIKE I I was so concerned with getting the ball out of my hands and not taking the sack, that sometimes I t...
LIKE I I knew I had to throw the ball better,'' Manning said of his poor start.
LIKE I I think the reason that I have that title or that moniker is because people don't know what to expec...
LIKE I You're either ready and prepared to take on the task, or you're not,'' he said.
LIKE I I did not have one butterfly out there today,'' he said.
LIKE I Married to the Mob.
LIKE I Hello you're with Drudge.
LIKE I I don't expect Christian Fundamentalists to reach out to me. They are adamant that homosexuals are i...
LIKE I throw enough shit at the wall and some should stick?
LIKE I I'm not happy, that's all I can say about it,'' he said.
LIKE I The fact that I stay anonymous means I can exhibit wherever I want. No one knows my name, so it'...
JR I prize being just a normal dude that wakes up, goes to work, comes home to his wife - like, quite b...
TEDDY SEARS See, for some reason, I feel like it's a victory if I wake up one minute before the alarm. It...
RONDA ROUSEY I used to steal my father's cologne, and it was so strong. My mother would always know when I di...
TREY SONGZ People who pretend to be your friend lead you up a garden path by saying everything that you want to...
GARY F EVANS... I don't think anyone wakes up and says, 'I want my life to suck today.'
ROBERT HERJAVEC I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fa...
BRIAN ANDREAS I'm the wife who wakes up in the morning, not to a cup of coffee presented by my husband of 30 years...
JOAN LEFKOW So somebody told me that if I wasn't a coffee drinker yet, by the end of college I'd have to...
DANICA MCKELLAR I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.
LEWIS BLACK Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up
VERONICA ROTH I love cleansing my face in the mornings and at night using Bliss Foaming Facial Wash. It makes my s...
BETHANY MOTA The sunrise wakes the lark to sing,
The moonrise wakes the nightingale.
Come, darkness, moonri...
CHRISTINA G. ROSSETTI Something magical has happened to me: like a dream when one feels frightened and creepy, and suddenl...
LEO TOLSTOY It's best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise from...
ANNE BAXTER When one gets quiet, then something wakes up inside one, something happy and quiet like the stars.
W.B. YEATS It's best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise ...
ANNE BAXTER Despair lames most people, but it wakes others fully up.
WILLIAM JAMES Everyday people all over the world take advantage of life, they abuse it and dice with it.Life is so...
GARY F EVANS... Kate picked up the carafe and poured some coffee into a cup. She added sugar and cream until it was ...
SARAH ADDISON ALLEN I like to do weird things in the shower, like drink my coffee, brush my teeth and drink a smoothie. ...
MICHELLE WILLIAMS I'm not a coffee drinker, so my drink is kind of like a girlie skim chai latte. I'm not prou...
WILLIE GEIST I'm not affiliated with either Wikileaks or Anonymous - of course, it's not like I would tel...
JONATHAN NOLAN I think we will become good neighbors, but it probably won't be in my lifetime. It will be up to you...
ADRIAN LOWE Any kind of crisis can be good. It wakes you up.
RYAN REYNOLDS I grew up among strong women so I know what it's like to be loved and humiliated in a heartbeat.
CHRIS O'DOWD I like to check on the position of the sharks with my coffee every morning.
BARBARA BLOCK It's just like when you've got some coffee that's too black, which means it's too strong. What do yo...
MALCOLM X My name is Kevin James Breaux and I am an author. Why does that always sound like I am introducing m...
KEVIN JAMES BREAUX I feel as though whenever I create something, my Mr. Hyde wakes up in the middle of the night and st...
CRISS JAMI She wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night screaming. ... I'm a biker, for Christ's sake, and...
DAVE HANSEN The biggest difference between L.A. and my hometown in Georgia is when Georgia goes to sleep, L.A. w...
ELIJAH KELLEY I know I could count on my neighbors. I love it.
ASHLEIGH BALL Whatever I've experienced in my life is a part of my story, and I'm proud of that. But it...
DREW BARRYMORE I usually get up between 7 A.M. and 8 A.M., have coffee, and go right to work. It's really impor...
RACHEL KUSHNER Hannibal at eighteen was rooting for Mephistopheles and contemptuous of Faust, but he only half-list...
THOMAS HARRIS We're the only animal that wakes up and doesn't stretch.
CONOR MCGREGOR Sometimes I like to play the soundtracks to famous musicals so we can all sing along. South Pacific ...
LOUISE BROWN When God wakes up, he turns on the sun
ANJIE HENLEY When you have kids and get older, it goes beyond flowers and chocolate. It's about waking up wit...
JAMES MARSDEN I wouldn't do that to my neighbors. And I would hope they wouldn't do it to me.
MARILYN MYERS I didn't realize it was possible people could be so anonymous. There was no recognition of a person ...
ASHLEY MASON ...words are so strong and I am so timid - my soul ignores warnings and I end up covered with your p...
JOHN GEDDES I never actually knew anyone in a coma, ... Well, on 'The Valley' (her favorite show-within-a-show t...
RACHEL BILSON No milk. It is black coffee, pure but strong, that fortifies against the powers of darkness with whi...
ROBERT AICKMAN Actually, I might party a bit. I haven't partied in a long time, ... But we party a little different...
GERARD WAY Actually, I might party a bit. I haven't partied in a long time, ... But we party a little different...
GERARD WAY After I got my coffee, I leaned against a stop sign and sipped, pretending it was a normal day and I...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS It feels like spoken words, this bridge. I want it but fear it. God, I want so desperately to reach ...
MARKUS ZUSAK Lutherans drink coffee after church. ... That's a pretty important time. The idea was to use coffee ...
ANNA UTEC I like diner coffee.
BETH BEHRS The coffee shop is a great New York institution, but it has terrible coffee. And the more traditiona...
ADAM GOPNIK If you're a new artist, practice your art and share it. Set up shop somewhere, whether it's ...
JASON MRAZ Those of us who have been up all night were in no mood for coffee and donuts. We wanted strong drink...
HUNTER S. THOMPSON "Success is definite when you wake up your alarm clock before it wakes you up." – Shahwan SETHI
MUHAMMAD SHAHWAN TARIQ I like to have strong opinions with nothing to back them up with besides my primal sincerity. I like...
KURT COBAIN If coffee meant vagina, I’d ask you if you wanted cream in your coffee. But it doesn’t mean that...
JAROD KINTZ He was contemplation and enthusiasm. Ambition and strong coffee.
E. LOCKHART I come from Nigeria, and we live by the idea that it takes a village. So my entire team. I live by m...
UZO ADUBA I like being famous when it's convenient for me and completely anonymous when it's not.
CATHERINE DENEUVE If I have a cup of coffee that is too strong for me because it is too black, I weaken it by pouring ...
MALCOLM X And you don’t get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have o...
EDDIE IZZARD It's like having that second cup of coffee without having that second cup of coffee.
JEFF ROSEN My dad had always been a big decaf coffee drinker. But my mom had always been more of a tea drinker....
CHELSEA CLINTON I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. Its a w...
DR. SEUSS (THEODOR SEUSS GEISEL) I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a ...
STANISLAW J. LEM New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE The blessing is that my kids have a lot of strong men and strong marriages around them, so I feel li...
TAYA KYLE Being published in Arabic is a strong and consistent wish I have. I live in the Middle East and want...
ETGAR KERET You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.
CRAIG FERGUSON I loved Veronica right off the bat. She was so strong and I think it is so important because there a...
KRISTEN BELL
More Anonymous
Animals are human just like us in a different shape and form so do not abuse them.
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS You don't have to touch someone to love them, It's not in the kiss, It's in the times you don't kiss...
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS Glory be to Him who changes others and remains Himself unchanged!
ANONYMOUS Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone one who loves is born of God an...
ANONYMOUS May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves ...
ANONYMOUS Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.
ANONYMOUS Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can be...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
ANONYMOUS It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
ANONYMOUS He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
ANONYMOUS All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
ANONYMOUS A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
ANONYMOUS A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
ANONYMOUS Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
ANONYMOUS Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
ANONYMOUS Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her o...
ANONYMOUS Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family d...
ANONYMOUS The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
ANONYMOUS Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.
ANONYMOUS An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
ANONYMOUS Time cuts down all, Both great and small.
ANONYMOUS Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
ANONYMOUS Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.
ANONYMOUS Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. •Anonymous Many an o...
ANONYMOUS Some of the smallest situations are the biggest to some people.
ANONYMOUS Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
ANONYMOUS Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For eve...
ANONYMOUS Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
ANONYMOUS A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowin...
ANONYMOUS Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
ANONYMOUS She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
ANONYMOUS many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting; but a ...
ANONYMOUS Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
ANONYMOUS When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
ANONYMOUS It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
ANONYMOUS Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not given but exchanged.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
ANONYMOUS If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
ANONYMOUS So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
ANONYMOUS Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
ANONYMOUS The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
ANONYMOUS Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
ANONYMOUS Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
ANONYMOUS To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
ANONYMOUS تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
ANONYMOUS The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:
Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
ANONYMOUS