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Nothing is a joke with me. It just all comes out like one.
LORRIE MOORE It's a joke - a bad joke, but a joke.
JULIAN KURTZ![]()
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
STEVEN WRIGHT![]()
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
STEPHEN WRIGHT I never told a joke in my life.
ANDY KAUFMAN I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
DAVE ATTELL![]()
I was going to start with a lawyer joke, but I'm told it was already done yesterday,
LINUS TORVALDS![]()
It is almost a joke, but a joke that nobody tells.
HILARY MANTEL I think it's just a joke.
JIM DAVIES (The play) was kind of a joke on the middle class and a joke on foreigners.
LYNNE BURROUGHS It's a joke. Let's face it. It's a joke. I don't want all that silly stuff.
JIM LEYLAND He was always a joke-teller. You name a kind of joke and he told it. He had one for every occasion. ...
FRANK LOTT I don't know what happened out there. We played like a joke out there in the second half. It was not...
KYLE WILLIAMS![]()
I'm serious; it was a joke.
UNKNOWN When it comes to Spam, ... we get the joke.
JULIE CRAVEN A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dis...
BOB SAGET A guy once told me a joke and the joke goes like this, "I wonder if I am living a horrible nightmare...
GIDEON O. OMORUYI This was just a great big joke on us. He better not show his face here again.
STEVE HUNT Portland hardly got to have an identity before that identity became a joke - I live in a joke. Seatt...
ISAAC BROCK We're just good friends. We joke around here in the clubhouse, but if we see each other outside, we'...
JOSE REYES It's just kind of like a joke. But we don't forget it very often.
ALLIE PULLAR![]()
And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke ...
J.K. ROWLING Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "...
BRIDGET ZINN![]()
Life is a joke that's just begun.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT![]()
No horse jokes," he said.
"My lord, I apologize for the horse joke. If you put down the book---...
CYNTHIA HAND Life is not a joke, but majority have made to look like a joke and amidst them some knowingly and ma...
ANUJ SOMANY![]()
when he smiles it's as if you'd just told him the first joke on earth.
MITCH ALBOM I was waiting in line to go into the cafeteria, and I told a joke to someone and realized that it wa...
DAVID HYDE PIERCE![]()
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.
CLIFTON FADIMAN I don't know what he's talking about. I was surprised when I got here and people told me about it. I...
SAMMY SOSA At one point, he told a Yiddish joke. Only one person in the audience got it.
MICHAEL HARPER Poetry is like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you've lost the wh...
W. S. MERWIN![]()
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
KARL PILKINGTON I meant nothing by it but a joke.
MIKE TICE It was just a boy's name, ... Even in the movie, (the name Madison is) a joke. She named herself aft...
KENT EVANS It was just a boy's name. Even in the movie, (the name Madison is) a joke. She named herself after M...
CLEVELAND KENT EVANS![]()
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN![]()
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time whe...
SHORT QUOTES We'll talk about this game, joke about it, and joke about things that happened.
STEVE ADELSPERGER![]()
People usually told him the same joke two or three times.
WALKER PERCY I thought the university came through very well, ... I think the comedy is a joke on Tommy and not a...
HARVEY PERLMAN Your reality is someone's dream, Ur dreams are someone's joke, Ur joke are someone’s reality. Don'...
CYNTHIA A You want to know the joke he thinks is stolen from him? It's a Taco Bell joke,
CARLOS MENCIA This world is a joke, and I'm in it
OLIWAH GOUDEE![]()
But if they didn't think it was a joke, or if anybody took it the wrong way other than a joke, when ...
JOE GIBBS The people that were in the building were the principal's relatives and she was playing a practical ...
ANNETTE SINGLETARY a joke in China because by and large they just ignore it.
LIU KANG![]()
Ah, Signor Halt,' he said uncertainly, 'you are making a joke, yes?'
'He is making a joke, no,'...
JOHN FLANAGAN![]()
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
OLIVER HERFORD![]()
There were times when I was a joke, but talent survives.
DAVID CASSIDY I feel like India and Pakistan have played a joke on us.
ABDUL AZIZ I lived that life for real, so to talk about it was like a joke, you know what I mean?
TONE LOC![]()
Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.
MILTON BERLE![]()
Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first...
DEMETRI MARTIN A joke is basically and normally a light-hearted talk about the sensible things we ought to feel and...
ANUJ SOMANY![]()
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.
HERMANN HESSE![]()
She made it like a joke. She made it sound like it was really nothing and tomorrow it was going to p...
SOPHIA LOREN It was a joke that none of the Big 3 schools recruited Jimmy.
WILLIAM JONES![]()
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
WILL ROGERS![]()
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.
ANONYMOUS The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I...
DICK CAVETT She was gorgeous and very, very funny - not just joke funny. She was a genuine eccentric.
BARRY CRYER It was awesome. It feels so good. You can tell when someone comes in too cocky. We're not a joke. We...
CAROLINA RUIZ![]()
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
OLIVER HERFORD![]()
I told them, 'If you guys start to struggle, start talking about something else, tell a dirty joke.
NANCY LOPEZ A symphony is no joke.
JOHANNES BRAHMS![]()
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of...
GEORGE ORWELL![]()
Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.
ANONYMOUS I always thought of Levittown as a joke.
BILL GRIFFITH I told a different disgusting joke with the same setup and a different punch line, ... I'm hoping th...
HARRY SHEARER![]()
I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... a...
LUCILLE BALL He drove on Hecht, took out his knee, went after his head. It's a joke, an absolute joke. Watch the ...
LINDY RUFF We were trendsetters, ... But people would joke 'Here comes the ice cream truck.' Now it's not unusu...
KATHLEEN RHODES![]()
I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should al...
ADAM CAROLLA![]()
It seemed like a joke, how much all of these dudes looked alike, like living was so hard it just era...
GILLIAN FLYNN![]()
He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.
CARROLL BRYANT![]()
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriousl...
WOODY ALLEN![]()
I'm sure everyone in this room has been told a joke about that subject. I have many times and I've l...
BILLY CONNOLLY I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD![]()
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
JACK HANDEY I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
JACK HANDY![]()
A college joke to cure the dumps.
JONATHAN SWIFT The whole place is a practical joke.
DAVE BALDWIN [The photograph was described by a police witness as] a joke of a kind someone outside police cultur...
BRUCE DAVIDSON We are all only God’s joke here having the same punch line.
VIKRANT PARSAI![]()
I just brush it off and try to make a joke about it. Over the years it's been interesting.
STEVE MARTIN![]()
Gentle dullness ever loves a joke.
ALEXANDER POPE Multiculturalism is a white people joke.
NTOZAKE SHANGE ridiculous, a joke taken too far.
MAHESH BHATT Some people think it's a joke,
LINDA HALL Quite frankly, it's almost a joke,
PETER WALSH![]()
He was saying that the end of the world wasn't an accident; it was a joke.
HOLLY BLACK![]()
In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's continually retold in an acc...
TOM ROBBINS I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.
HAROLD RAMIS![]()
It was a joke to the extent in the context of the views that speech.
HERMAN CAIN Vanity was a joke. She was an image created to make money.
VANITY I'm not much of a joke writer.
BEN FALCONE![]()
A joke is a very serious thing.
ANONYMOUS![]()
A joke is a very serious thing
WINSTON CHURCHILL Life is a joke, heaven a reality.
FAGBAYIMU SAMSON ADEOLA
LORRIE MOORE It's a joke - a bad joke, but a joke.
JULIAN KURTZ
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? STEVEN WRIGHT
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? STEPHEN WRIGHT I never told a joke in my life.
ANDY KAUFMAN I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
DAVE ATTELL
I was going to start with a lawyer joke, but I'm told it was already done yesterday, LINUS TORVALDS
It is almost a joke, but a joke that nobody tells. HILARY MANTEL I think it's just a joke.
JIM DAVIES (The play) was kind of a joke on the middle class and a joke on foreigners.
LYNNE BURROUGHS It's a joke. Let's face it. It's a joke. I don't want all that silly stuff.
JIM LEYLAND He was always a joke-teller. You name a kind of joke and he told it. He had one for every occasion. ...
FRANK LOTT I don't know what happened out there. We played like a joke out there in the second half. It was not...
KYLE WILLIAMS
I'm serious; it was a joke. UNKNOWN When it comes to Spam, ... we get the joke.
JULIE CRAVEN A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dis...
BOB SAGET A guy once told me a joke and the joke goes like this, "I wonder if I am living a horrible nightmare...
GIDEON O. OMORUYI This was just a great big joke on us. He better not show his face here again.
STEVE HUNT Portland hardly got to have an identity before that identity became a joke - I live in a joke. Seatt...
ISAAC BROCK We're just good friends. We joke around here in the clubhouse, but if we see each other outside, we'...
JOSE REYES It's just kind of like a joke. But we don't forget it very often.
ALLIE PULLAR
And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke ... J.K. ROWLING Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "...
BRIDGET ZINN
Life is a joke that's just begun. WILLIAM S. GILBERT
No horse jokes," he said."My lord, I apologize for the horse joke. If you put down the book---...
CYNTHIA HAND Life is not a joke, but majority have made to look like a joke and amidst them some knowingly and ma...
ANUJ SOMANY
when he smiles it's as if you'd just told him the first joke on earth. MITCH ALBOM I was waiting in line to go into the cafeteria, and I told a joke to someone and realized that it wa...
DAVID HYDE PIERCE
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself. CLIFTON FADIMAN I don't know what he's talking about. I was surprised when I got here and people told me about it. I...
SAMMY SOSA At one point, he told a Yiddish joke. Only one person in the audience got it.
MICHAEL HARPER Poetry is like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you've lost the wh...
W. S. MERWIN
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. KARL PILKINGTON I meant nothing by it but a joke.
MIKE TICE It was just a boy's name, ... Even in the movie, (the name Madison is) a joke. She named herself aft...
KENT EVANS It was just a boy's name. Even in the movie, (the name Madison is) a joke. She named herself after M...
CLEVELAND KENT EVANS
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. SPIKE MILLIGAN
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time whe... SHORT QUOTES We'll talk about this game, joke about it, and joke about things that happened.
STEVE ADELSPERGER
People usually told him the same joke two or three times. WALKER PERCY I thought the university came through very well, ... I think the comedy is a joke on Tommy and not a...
HARVEY PERLMAN Your reality is someone's dream, Ur dreams are someone's joke, Ur joke are someone’s reality. Don'...
CYNTHIA A You want to know the joke he thinks is stolen from him? It's a Taco Bell joke,
CARLOS MENCIA This world is a joke, and I'm in it
OLIWAH GOUDEE
But if they didn't think it was a joke, or if anybody took it the wrong way other than a joke, when ... JOE GIBBS The people that were in the building were the principal's relatives and she was playing a practical ...
ANNETTE SINGLETARY a joke in China because by and large they just ignore it.
LIU KANG
Ah, Signor Halt,' he said uncertainly, 'you are making a joke, yes?''He is making a joke, no,'...
JOHN FLANAGAN
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. OLIVER HERFORD
There were times when I was a joke, but talent survives. DAVID CASSIDY I feel like India and Pakistan have played a joke on us.
ABDUL AZIZ I lived that life for real, so to talk about it was like a joke, you know what I mean?
TONE LOC
Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it. MILTON BERLE
Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first... DEMETRI MARTIN A joke is basically and normally a light-hearted talk about the sensible things we ought to feel and...
ANUJ SOMANY
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke. HERMANN HESSE
She made it like a joke. She made it sound like it was really nothing and tomorrow it was going to p... SOPHIA LOREN It was a joke that none of the Big 3 schools recruited Jimmy.
WILLIAM JONES
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke. WILL ROGERS
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke. ANONYMOUS The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I...
DICK CAVETT She was gorgeous and very, very funny - not just joke funny. She was a genuine eccentric.
BARRY CRYER It was awesome. It feels so good. You can tell when someone comes in too cocky. We're not a joke. We...
CAROLINA RUIZ
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. OLIVER HERFORD
I told them, 'If you guys start to struggle, start talking about something else, tell a dirty joke. NANCY LOPEZ A symphony is no joke.
JOHANNES BRAHMS
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of... GEORGE ORWELL
Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny. ANONYMOUS I always thought of Levittown as a joke.
BILL GRIFFITH I told a different disgusting joke with the same setup and a different punch line, ... I'm hoping th...
HARRY SHEARER
I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... a... LUCILLE BALL He drove on Hecht, took out his knee, went after his head. It's a joke, an absolute joke. Watch the ...
LINDY RUFF We were trendsetters, ... But people would joke 'Here comes the ice cream truck.' Now it's not unusu...
KATHLEEN RHODES
I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should al... ADAM CAROLLA
It seemed like a joke, how much all of these dudes looked alike, like living was so hard it just era... GILLIAN FLYNN
He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke. CARROLL BRYANT
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriousl... WOODY ALLEN
I'm sure everyone in this room has been told a joke about that subject. I have many times and I've l... BILLY CONNOLLY I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. JACK HANDEY I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
JACK HANDY
A college joke to cure the dumps. JONATHAN SWIFT The whole place is a practical joke.
DAVE BALDWIN [The photograph was described by a police witness as] a joke of a kind someone outside police cultur...
BRUCE DAVIDSON We are all only God’s joke here having the same punch line.
VIKRANT PARSAI
I just brush it off and try to make a joke about it. Over the years it's been interesting. STEVE MARTIN
Gentle dullness ever loves a joke. ALEXANDER POPE Multiculturalism is a white people joke.
NTOZAKE SHANGE ridiculous, a joke taken too far.
MAHESH BHATT Some people think it's a joke,
LINDA HALL Quite frankly, it's almost a joke,
PETER WALSH
He was saying that the end of the world wasn't an accident; it was a joke. HOLLY BLACK
In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's continually retold in an acc... TOM ROBBINS I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.
HAROLD RAMIS
It was a joke to the extent in the context of the views that speech. HERMAN CAIN Vanity was a joke. She was an image created to make money.
VANITY I'm not much of a joke writer.
BEN FALCONE
A joke is a very serious thing. ANONYMOUS
A joke is a very serious thing WINSTON CHURCHILL Life is a joke, heaven a reality.
FAGBAYIMU SAMSON ADEOLA
We're going to fight racism not with racism, but we're going to fight with solidarity. We sa... 
I am the people, I'm not the pig. You got to make a distinction. And the people are going to hav... 
For those broadcasters who are less than responsible, the FCC needs to have sharper teeth to enforce... 
One of the first shows I ever did was 'Laverne & Shirley.' I played this sleazy guy that... 
I can say I won a Senior British Open at Turnberry. I think that's the best thing about it, the ... 
I'd love to have Burt Reynolds' career. 
I always loved comedy growing up - Bob Hope, Red Skelton and Danny Kaye. 
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it. 
There is a coherent plan to the universe, though I don't know
what it's a plan for. 
I was really upset because I was branded as an enemy alien when I'm an American. 
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin. 
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. 
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. 
Part of the problem with the word 'disabilities' is that it immediately suggests an inability to see... 
The very best reason parents are so special . . . is because we are the holders of a priceless gift,... 
I'm like a duck: calm above the water, and paddling like hell underneath. 
I just put my feet in the air and move them around. 
The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. 
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. 
Happiness is a positive cash flow. 
A man who is contented with what he has done will never become famous for what he will do. 
Boxing purists, quite naturally, question Tyson's appetite for victory. Mills Lane should have stopp... 
Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. Whe... 
After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood. 
Given the slow pace of Washington's bureaucracy, policymakers are often busy solving yesterday&#... 
I didn't think that the government would go as far as to include American citizens to be interne... 
I was an American citizen, and I had as many rights as anyone else. 
I am tolerably ignorant about Judaism, and much of what I do know about it seems hard to swallow, be... 
Tactics, fitness, stroke ability, adaptability, experience, and sportsmanship are all necessary for ... 
Sometimes you have to, as I say, build bridges where you can - but draw lines where you must. 
I know the exploding cost of health care is at the root of our long-term fiscal challenges. 
But if the Chinese mainland, the PRC, attacked Taiwan, we'd be obligated to come to their aid. 
We've got to face the fact that some people say you fight fire best with fire, but we say you put fi... 
A man who is contented with what he has done will never become famous for what he will do. 