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Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.


Anonymous

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One time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it is holding a parking ticket.
UNKNOWN I went to my car in the morning and it was on my windshield wiper with a nice note. He heard and wan...
TAMMY KUBO This storm has been like a windshield wiper, ... It's moved to the east, moved to the west, and just...
JOE MYERS This storm has been like a windshield wiper. It's moved to the east, moved to the west, and just a s...
JOE MYERS It began to drizzle rain and he turned on the windshield wipers; they made a great clatter like two ...
FLANNERY O'CONNOR Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
BOB NEWHART I bought my first electric car in 1970. Its top speed was 15 mph and it had just a 15 mile range - i...
ED BEGLEY, JR. Integrity is not everything, but it is the only thing that matters.
JEFFREY FRY Any rain like that is nice. Is it going to knock us out of the drought? No.
DOUG CRAMER Older cars had those old vacuum windshield wiper systems, and when they went bad it was almost impos...
ROBBY WHITEHEAD It is a lie.
ARTHUR MILLER it doesnt matter how slow you go, as long as you dont stop
ELIN Our weather folks are telling us we're going to get some rain, but the problem is it will be isolate...
E. LYNN BURKETT PEACE IS THE OBJECTIVE TO WAR, BUT THE BLOOD RUNNETH STILL
NATALIE URQUIETA When good players get going, they are hard to stop, and Jeff is a good player. He got going and it w...
STEVE ALFORD We owe it to our ancestors and our children to keep this celebration going. We just can't stop. This...
ARTHUR HARDY 35. God is entitled to a portion of our income—not because He needs it but because we need to give...
JAMES C. DOBSON I reach my hands up and out, as if that can stop me getting wetter, and open my mouth, trying to swa...
LILY CHATTERJEE We keep it as anonymous as we can.
DOUGLAS MURPHY A cantor, when he starts singing, it's like rain - once it starts, it's hard to stop.
SHOLOM ALEICHEM Life may not be party you hoped for,But that doesnt mean u should stop dancing!Remember you are the ...
ANMOL P. JAORA I felt as though a rain shower wasn't going to stop us. Relationships go through hard times. I wasn'...
JUSTIN WININGER I wasn't going to let anything stop me, neither rain or snow or wind.
BERSHAWN JACKSON It was like being in a car accident, but it keeps going and going, non-stop.
EDDIE HO This (rain) will not put this fire out. But it is going to help. It is going to help a whole lot.
FRED TURCK Sometimes when we have so much going on, it's easy to forsake the things that seem like personal...
KRISTIN ARMSTRONG I think it probably seemed like I was anxious because I was swinging at bad pitches. I was thinking ...
VLADIMIR GUERRERO The atmosphere is great for people - it allows us to survive - but it's a real headache for astr...
ANDREA M. GHEZ It looks like if we keep treating Sean, his injury is going to be behind us and we're going to fine ...
DENNIS HELMS This allows us to select the advertising that is appropriate to the medium, but it is also more than...
BOB EZRIN If the good Lord could stop the rain just for tomorrow, but only for tomorrow, it would be good. But...
BRIGALIA BAM Until people stop burning, it's going to keep going up.
BRIAN ARCHER The important thing, once you get 'em laughing, is to keep 'em laughing until you're thr...
HAL ROACH If you saw the MRI, it was like a crack in a windshield and it just spread.
MIKE CAMERON You can’t stop the rain by worrying about it.
TADAHIKO NAGAO Rain is going to happen on Monday. It may be heavy at times, it may be slacking at times, but there ...
BILL HOFFER Our strength is inside, but when those other girls are hitting shots like that it make us pretty tou...
JEFF HANS We were going to stop last night, but we decided to keep going. I don't know if we'll get another $1...
BOBBY RUSSELL Racism is a way to gain economic advantage at the expense of others. Slavery and plantations may be ...
ALVEDA KING When we cut down an destroy rain forests we are not only killing living things that have been on thi...
GARY F EVANS... Laughter is a highly addictive positive contagious: if somebody starts, it's very difficult to stop.
ROBERT HOLDEN Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the l...
WILL DURST It's just a spark but it's enough to keep us going.
PARAMORE I don't need to go to gamblers anonymous or anything but I like a flutter,
NICK ATKINSON The Army is capable of running the software, but if it breaks, it is our expertise that allows us to...
LARRY DAVIS The empty nest is great. It allows us to travel.
BUD ELLIOT We are going to go agency by agency and get rid of the Social Security number on everything, ... The...
BOB FILNER If we sit back and get in a slugfest with those guys, it is going to be very, very difficult for us....
MIKE SCIOSCIA We knew it wasn't a matter of if it was going to rain, but when,
ED GOREN I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.
MICKEY ROONEY A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesnt believe, and leaves before she is left.
ASHISH KUMAR We love our installation, and we like to keep it clean and tidy. We're going to stop for a few days ...
COL. SCOTT LARESE This feature allows IT, not to block these employees from what they're doing but keep track of it.
ERIC OGREN Life is a journey. When we stop, things don't go right.
POPE FRANCIS The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
DEMETRI MARTIN If ur laptop doesnt smell like fire then ur losing.
GENEREUX PHILIP It's really difficult to say (if we'll hit Stage 4), but the rainfall that will keep us from going t...
STEVE MASSEY Don't wait for the rain to stop. Wait for the sun to come out and join the rain in making a rainbow.
SARA STRAIN We're not really intruding," he called down. "This is all a big misunderstanding."
"Stop right ...
DEREK LANDY When you turn 60, the key is to not stop moving. Once you start to stop moving, you rust. You got to...
CHRISTIE BRINKLEY Laughter is inner jogging.
LAUGHTER Definitely. I could breathe. It didn't feel like I had windshield wipers.
ALANDO TUCKER I clearly saw us from outside, like in a picture: we are not people, we are a road sign warning: “...
IGOR ELISEEV Slap a mask on a drunk and you're going to have trouble. It's like having a live reenactment of anon...
RANDY K. MILHOLLAND It's hard to figure out what motivates people and it seems like a lot of high school sports, if you ...
HOLLY HARRIS Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.
JOHN LITHGOW Laughter relieves us of superfluous energy, which, if it remained unused, might become negative, tha...
GEORGE GURDJIEFF They are very interested in places like UMC. For us, it brings us students, but it also allows us to...
CHARLES CASEY It's going to be a soaking rain. It's going to be a widespread rain.
BRIAN LOVEJOY We have a law that allows us to establish charter schools here in this state. We ought to get going ...
CRAIG BENSON The only thing we can do is keep fourth now, so I have to be happy with that. We made up some places...
MICHAEL PARK It sounds great, but you can't stop working. You have to keep working. I feel like I haven't been wo...
ERIC WICKS What use is revelation or religion if it doesnt change anything?
ABU BAKAR BASHIR I knew we were going to be a great defensive team. As long as we keep our D up, I don't think anybod...
CANDICE BRITTON Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter ...
WILL DURST If teams keep playing us this way, it's going to be like this,
PEYTON MANNING If teams keep playing us this way, it's going to be like this
PEYTON MANNING I've been out here 27 years and have seen a lot of really bad weeks with rain, but haven't ever seen...
DAN CARTER It is what it is, it is what you make it.
JAMES DURBIN I felt like I needed to get a steal to get us back up and get us going. When we were behind I wanted...
ASHLEY BELL His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha...
TEKOA MANNING I'm not affiliated with either Wikileaks or Anonymous - of course, it's not like I would tel...
JONATHAN NOLAN Even with a one-point lead, if we get the confidence to keep going we don't stop.
KRISTEN BARRY But it is also so exciting, because it allows us to really address the fundamental artistic directio...
JOHN DRISCOLL To enjoy the rainbows, let us dance in the rain. To get lost in the beauty of nature, keep your wind...
DEBASISH MRIDHA Just because you came to the end of a cliff it doesnt mean that is the end,find a rope to climb down...
JOHN ALEXANDER TRISTRAM He's kind of the middle link between the departments and the tipsters helping to keep them anonymous...
BRIAN HAMRIC Let us keep the dance of rain our fathers kept and tread our dreams beneath the jungle sky.
ARNA BONTEMPS Nobody is listening to us. We've given (township officials) feedback. We're not going to let it stop...
JENNIFER PUGH Rain is sexy. I like rain. But the car will be cozy. I like cozy things more. And I like the things ...
RITIKA CHHABRA Only if it becomes a distraction will he stop mentioning records. He says he'll always keep it out f...
ALY BYORICK Laughter is important, not only because it makes us happy, it also has actual health benefits. And t...
MARLO THOMAS Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes ...
UNKNOWN I am evolving from being an animal,' he said. 'But it is going very, very slowly. Sometime I try to ...
BLAINE HARDEN It kept going through my mind ... I knew I had to keep trying to get it up there. I felt like I had ...
DALLAS RICHARDSON It is the measure of this memory of past cycles that allows us to make a forecast.
MAUSUMI DIKPATI I hope we can keep it going. It's a worthwhile endeavor. We'd like to keep it afloat.
LOIS SPENCE In concertos, I stand up, and I conduct with the bow when I'm not playing. During symphonies, I ...
JOSHUA BELL They work rain or shine. It is just the greatest help to us.
MARY ABBOTT Sometimes emotion is gentle, like rain feeding the river to nourish life, but sometimes it explodes ...
DEBORAH SANDELLA

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ANONYMOUS Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
ANONYMOUS The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
ANONYMOUS Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
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ANONYMOUS To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
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ANONYMOUS The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:

Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
ANONYMOUS