FastSaying

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.


Josh Billings

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Occasions are rare; and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer.
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JOSH BILLINGS There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity.
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JOSH BILLINGS The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. -Josh Billin...
JOSH BILLINGS There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. -Josh Billings.
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JOSH BILLINGS Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it get...
JOSH BILLINGS In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. -Josh Billings.
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JOSH BILLINGS There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared and that is twins
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JOSH BILLINGS Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
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JOSH BILLINGS Confess your sins to the Lord, and you will be forgiven; confess them to men, and you will be laughe...
JOSH BILLINGS Laffing iz the sensation ov pheeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot
JOSH BILLINGS The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.
JOSH BILLINGS A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates
JOSH BILLINGS Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if thare want ennything but contentment in his world, man w...
JOSH BILLINGS As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for
JOSH BILLINGS It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up...
JOSH BILLINGS Reason often makes mistakes but conscience never does.
JOSH BILLINGS The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust
JOSH BILLINGS I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.
JOSH BILLINGS Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well
JOSH BILLINGS Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined
JOSH BILLINGS Knowledge is like money: the more one gets, the more one craves.
JOSH BILLINGS Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
JOSH BILLINGS Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy a...
JOSH BILLINGS Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to
JOSH BILLINGS The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way
JOSH BILLINGS Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's ...
JOSH BILLINGS As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
JOSH BILLINGS Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well
JOSH BILLINGS Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.
JOSH BILLINGS The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so.
JOSH BILLINGS Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.
JOSH BILLINGS the squeeky wheel gets the grease.
JOSH BILLINGS Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
JOSH BILLINGS