The Doc told me I had a dual personality. Then he lays an 82 dollar bill on me, so I give him 41 bucks and say, 'Get the other 41 bucks from the other guy.'
Jerry Lewis
Related Though a bill in supermarket showed saving of 200 bucks, he had purchased unnecessary things worth 5... DR HITESH C SHETH If there is technological advance without social advance, there is, almost automatically, an increas... , THE OTHER AMERICA, 1962 I was down in blackjack, now I'm up 600 bucks so I'm pretty excited about that. My dealer was Alfie,... ANDY RODDICK The car attachment cost me 100 bucks, so I can play music on my radio. BRYCE COMPTON It was so dark it was like noting was there in the room but us. Only the nothing was actually someth... PAUL TREMBLAY I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES I never faced Pete (Sampras) in a match. I think from watching, his is the best serve ever. And he i... JAMES BLAKE I was just answering the phones, and the gentleman on the other end wanted to know when softball sea... LINDA WATSON The first revenue that we had was from selling coffee to the other residents. In a good week, we mad... BARRY MORRIS Anytime a guy scores 41 points, it gets your attention. We wanted to put different guys on him, and ... CEDRIC SIMMONS It's probably good. I'd say, get back on the horse that bucks you off. CARLOS FERNANDEZ I want to get one that bucks so I can get a good score. MATT AUSTIN There were no words exchanged. I had an injury with three of my toenails, he implied that I was faki... GUILLERMO CORIA Someone pays me a hundred bucks every Tuesday to DJ. I don't think I'll ever give that up. SHANNYN SOSSAMON Maybe a casual fan will take his kid to see [Pittsburgh Penguins No. 1 draft pick] Sidney Crosby. Wi... ALAN ADAMS The other writer who had a very important early influence on me when I was about 17 was C.S. Lewis. TANITH LEE My mom passed away at 41 from diabetes. And I'm 42, thank you. I didn't want to do that to m... SHERRI SHEPHERD When Brian told me he grew up in New Mexico, I told him I thought it is cool that people from other ... TERRY BRADSHAW It was an excellent job, ... I like the idea of playing a 42-year-old woman -- actually, 41, I was 4... FRANCES MCDORMAND I would give a million bucks to have seen my mother say "cute shoes" to naked Ashley Judd. BRIAN FIES I told Captain Lewis that I wanted Edwards to hit his 35-foot putt so I could drop (my putt) on him ... JEFF OVERTON Then I saw an article about Mr. [Larry] Dodson. So I decided to take my chances and call him. He tol... GRACE ANDREWS Vince might have been a little tired because we put so much weight on him (against the Bucks). I did... JASON KIDD I'd been told that he had been created-literally created-just for me,as my "perfect other half." Let... JAMES PATTERSON It obviously troubles both the police commissioner and me that 41 shots were fired. RUDY GIULIANI I just got a guy on a Harley-Davidson (who) pulled over and gave us five bucks. I'm just amazed. BOB STACEY I told the salesman I had to leave, but he kept talking. Then he would say, 'Don't go. I'll be right... JULES PAPP He was always there for me, and he cared so much about other people. I would thank him for being suc... PATRICK WANG I'm going to be Pennington. I'm not going to get my hair cut though. Then again, if somebody gives m... LAURA CAMERON The concept of loneliness and exile and self-sufficiency continually bucks me up. CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS When you get to 41 games you get him a few minutes at a time, start getting into the rhythm. FLIP SAUNDERS I was never 100 percent, so I just took the year off. I'm glad I did, and I'm glad the organization ... BOSS BAILEY I had never met him before. He came up to me before the game. He was a really nice guy. He told me h... ADAM DAUKSAS He's had his freedom for 41 years, and now that's taken from him, ... But sometime he's going to ha... JAMES HOOD I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City. HARLAND WILLIAMS My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said ... RODNEY DANGERFIELD So I went to George and told him I had the opportunity to become the figurehead of a government safe... DAVID PROWSE I pushed very hard for him to take the job. He was with me as an assistant for a few years prior and... JOE NORTH If I fail, the film industry writes me off as another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a million... GEORGE A. ROMERO Bill and Jerry have surrounded me with people I trust. JEFF IRELAND Kanye is the weirdest... He is the weirdest person I know other than me. I've told him that befo... T-PAIN I would stay away from him and leave him to go his own road where there would be other women, countl... IAN FLEMING I'm not going to say anything. He sends a guy after me, and that's fine. Him and I had our words, so... BRENDAN WITT She's only about 41/2 inches from the automatic. AARON NIDA I got off on the fact that a guy would be so into me from the get-go without really knowing me. That... CHRISTINA APPLEGATE Couples saw me and pointed out I was wearing an Ashworth shirt. They (Ashworth) are one of his spons... DONATHON STOVER He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was ins... JANET EVANOVICH ...ya can't get to Nevada on five bucks and a bad heart... DAVE MATTHES One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him. STEVEN WRIGHT If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks, you'll get a blowjob anyw... GERARD WAY I already know your sister is smarter. She's prettier than me too, but I didn't bet on that. I just ... SUZANNE YOUNG He probably would have run sub-41 (without the mishap). DAVE BEELER The crew knew because they had heard from other people, and when I showed up on the set the next day... BRANDON CRUZ I watched the way he handled himself on all those nationally televised interviews that followed, and... MAGIC JOHNSON ...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says... TINA FEY He told me he was going to 'give me my church' right then. He read from Genesis and said a prayer. ELAINE THOMAS She handed me an index card with two names on it. She pointed to Alex's name and told me he was pret... AL BOELK We have tears in our eyes As we wave our goodbyes, We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL I once waited on a group of 10 people, and one guy collected the money from the check and tipped me ... CHELSEA HANDLER I made 50 million bucks yesterday. That's a flameout I could get used to. CONRAD BLACK On any other night, giving up 41 points is not a bad defensive effort, but when you only score 33 it... CINDY ANDERSON I left Mr. Wright in '41, just before the war. EDGAR TAFEL He had put a contract out on me and the other man I was seeing at the time, ... He said to kill me. BLAKE KERR I went to Aspen right after school and got a freelance gig writing articles for the 'Aspen Times... DARIN STRAUSS He pulled out his wallet and showed me photos of himself with long hair, ... He told me he had been ... HAROLD BROWN He pulled out his wallet and showed me photos of himself with long hair, ... He told me he had been ... HAROLD BROWN I also played with Jimi Hendrix. Jimi would come down and sit in with Retaliation and we would have ... AYNSLEY DUNBAR You can't push the envelope at 10,000 RPM and expect to come out smelling like a rose and feelin... STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN were a very clear manifestation of 41 years of persecution, 41 years of having loved ones perishing ... ALEX PENELAS With such enormous bucks devoted to trading in oil and other commodities, the distortions that they ... GARY WEISS Just the other day he told me Dougie Walters had phoned. I thought, 'that's good' and he said, 'yeah... DENNIS LILLEE [Contrary to speculation, coach Doc Rivers says he didn't demand that the Celtics retain Blount.] Th... DOC RIVERS A guy walks in and says, 'Can I have a million bucks?' How do you know they are good for it? KAREEM JALAL I had a meeting with Bob and he told me I wasn't playing. Then I came back in the afternoon and he t... JAN BULIS He fills me with horror and I do not hate him. How can I hate him, Raoul? Think of Erik at my feet, ... GASTON LEROUX 'Evening Shade' was such an eye-opening experience. I was 19 when I went on that show. I had... DAVID A. R. WHITE I've got a bunch of books... I rely on funny books and movies to cheer me up. Oh, but I must say... WENDI MCLENDON-COVEY Why should I shatter your wonderful fantasy with my boring reality? ~ Evie Snow CARRIE HOPE FLETCHER Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, On the one hand on the other. HARRY S TRUMAN He has so often told me he is madly in love with me, but what does that mean when I haven't had a go... EVA BRAUN I just got it as a hobby. Then I dropped 8,000 bucks on it. Most classic cars are expressions of our... CARL JOHNSON Bill did all my scouting reports for me. I'd never played our opponents before. Bill had. He remembe... BILL KRUEGER I talked to his family last night. They gave me a call. It made me fell like a million bucks. They s... MARK HEBRINK I think I've taken 41 charges this season. There's definitely an art to it. COLIN KING I think from here on it's up to me to prove that I'm growing up and that I have other things to say,... SHIRI APPLEBY Jimmy put it in perspective and told me exactly what had happened to him, ... He encouraged me to ge... JIM CALHOUN I guess it's just having time to play with each other and learning each other, just finding out how ... ALLEN IVERSON I had been struggling to get roles in Hollywood for three and a half years after leaving the WWE. Th... DAVE BAUTISTA What I always say is that we're the illegitimate children of Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lewis. KEVIN MCDONALD She told me and the police they had them facing against each other fighting 'em. I seen a couple spo... CURTIS BOLDEN He simply told me that they had decided to give the sponsorship to another company. I asked him (who... DAVID KINSMAN I made 50 million bucks yesterday. That's a flameout I could get used to. CONRAD BLACK We don't have the big bucks, so we have to focus on grassroots and targeted advertising. BRETT BADER I'd pay five bucks, or whatever they charge, to get in. And I get in for free and get a spot on the ... DALE NEAL He picked me up, and that made me feel great, ... When I ran past him going back to the dugout, I ta... ADRIAN BELTRE Any man, you'll soon learn, has an insurmountable need to blame someone else when he is made to look... JULIA QUINN I had an uneventful few days," it told her. "The most exciting thing was an hour-long lecture from t... DEREK LANDY When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ... ANONYMOUS The difference between an itch and an allergy is about one hundred bucks. SOURCE UNKNOWN What is the Other?" they ask. The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ... PAULO COELHO
More Jerry Lewis
I've had great success being a total idiot. JERRY LEWIS People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius. JERRY LEWIS Adrenaline is so strong that none of us understand it. JERRY LEWIS If I found the cure for dystrophy tomorrow, I would do a telethon in four weeks for acute pain that ... JERRY LEWIS I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't g... JERRY LEWIS I almost resent being Charley Moviestar. Yeah, I'm grateful. But it takes me away from my kids. JERRY LEWIS From 1936 on, I have taken more falls than any other 20 comedians put together. From the time I was ... JERRY LEWIS I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' th... JERRY LEWIS The young man who's had the Guggenheim fortune behind him all his life - he can hire all the aut... JERRY LEWIS I need the applause. JERRY LEWIS Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I've been win... JERRY LEWIS The greatest thing I can remember in my whole career was the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bail... JERRY LEWIS When I would be myself, I was being big-headed. I was being egotistical. I was a megalomaniac, when ... JERRY LEWIS You want to know why Barbra Streisand is so difficult? Because she's brilliant. She's a bril... JERRY LEWIS This is the pain pacemaker. I've got a battery under my skin. From that battery are two electrod... JERRY LEWIS You can't be faulted for being selfish if you're going to get better because of it. JERRY LEWIS When I hit around 65, 66, I started to feel tremendous worth and incredible personal esteem. I was b... JERRY LEWIS Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your hou... JERRY LEWIS Adrenaline is wonderful. It covers pain. It covers dementia. It covers everything. JERRY LEWIS I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else g... JERRY LEWIS The county can't even enforce the permits they've issued and they want to issue more. JERRY LEWIS Don't you understand how dramatic it is to be a comic? To be a fool, to get people to laugh at t... JERRY LEWIS Interviews are vital, but you cannot allow an interviewer to take your life and disturb it. JERRY LEWIS I've raised my boys the old-fashioned way, with spankings, sending them upstairs if they misbeha... JERRY LEWIS Postwar America was a very buttoned-up nation. Radio shows were run by censors, Presidents wore hats... JERRY LEWIS A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit, ... I, as a viewer, have trouble wit... JERRY LEWIS Every manÂ’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hand... JERRY LEWIS When I sit back and think a little more rationally, I realize my life is half, so I must learn to do... JERRY LEWIS He lived his way, and it didn't in any way encumber anyone around him, ... I never envied it, becaus... JERRY LEWIS What's happened at 85 is I've lost my appetite. I used to be a little hog when I was young. ... JERRY LEWIS I've had great success being a total idiot. JERRY LEWIS My Judaism has always been a great pride with me. JERRY LEWIS I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or ... JERRY LEWIS I get paid for what most kids get punished for. JERRY LEWIS Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house! JERRY LEWIS My door is always open to any member who wishes to build consensus on reducing unnecessary spending.... JERRY LEWIS I expect people that come to the studio to work to come with the same energy I come with. If I see l... JERRY LEWIS I had a box of Kleenex and I'm bawling like a child and I'm not believing it, ... If I had the sligh... JERRY LEWIS That's a relationship we need to formalize, ... We would be absolutely foolish not to examine carefu... JERRY LEWIS We're not going to be delivering a bill to the president's desk that is veto bait. JERRY LEWIS I really am opinionated, but not for long. I have found myself coming off of what I think of somethi... JERRY LEWIS When you're 89, dementia develops. I mean, I've told a story onstage, and I'm telling it... JERRY LEWIS There's something wonderful about taking a tag off a pair of socks, off a shirt, off a jacket. I... JERRY LEWIS It'll keep you alive for another 10 years if you get yourself a laugh once a day: either provoke... JERRY LEWIS I don't ordinarily do television because I don't like some of the things projected on it. JERRY LEWIS A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble wit... JERRY LEWIS A lot of people resent that I've been in someone's life for 50 years. Why shouldn't peop... JERRY LEWIS Turning 90 is not for sissies. JERRY LEWIS We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth... or ... JERRY LEWIS When you get a question like, 'Did you like meeting Her Majesty?' 'No, I thought she was... JERRY LEWIS I'm really not thick-skinned - my wife will tell you that I take sunsets personally - but I know... JERRY LEWIS Going unnoticed has never been my strong suit. JERRY LEWIS Billy Crystal, Steve Martin do wonderful things. JERRY LEWIS Seeing a woman project the kind of aggression that you have to project as a comic just rubs me wrong... JERRY LEWIS If I'm going to Hell, I'm going there playing the piano. JERRY LEE LEWIS Normally, things are viewed in these little segmented boxes. There's classical, and then there... JERRY LEE LEWIS When they look back on me I want 'em to remember me not for all my wives, although I've had ... JERRY LEE LEWIS Either be hot or cold. If you are lukewarm, the Lord will spew you forth from His mouth. JERRY LEE LEWIS Hippies? Why, I'm the original. JERRY LEE LEWIS Y'know, there's nothin' like tearing up a good club now and then. JERRY LEE LEWIS My momma always said, 'You and Elvis are pretty good, but y'all ain't no Chuck Berry. JERRY LEE LEWIS Gangsta rap was the most important movement since the beginning of rock n' roll. JERRY HELLER Perfection has to do with the end product, but excellence has to do with the process. JERRY MORAN We are all born as empty vessels which can be shaped by moral values. JERRY SPRINGER Because you can't do anything halfway, you've got to go all the way in anything you do. JERRY BRUCKHEIMER To me, it's not the end of the world if I end up not being with someone. I love romance. I love ... JERRY HALL We want young people to know what they believe, why they believe it. I believe America was built on ... JERRY FALWELL Works of art often last forever, or nearly so. But exhibitions themselves, especially gallery exhibi... JERRY SALTZ I never realized that growing up in Brooklyn, flying jets, working on Wall Street and starring in a ... JERRY DOYLE We have to restore power to the family, to the neighborhood, and the community with a non-market pri... JERRY BROWN There is a public perception that Paris Hilton is the black sheep of the family. JERRY OPPENHEIMER It took the Metropolitan Museum of Art nearly 50 years to wake up to Pablo Picasso. It didn't ow... JERRY SALTZ Kevin Garnett was a great player, but he wasn't Kobe Bryant. JERRY WEST I guess I've always been a groupie. My first date was a bull rider called Tommy Lee Bryant. We... JERRY HALL I studied drama in high school, and when I was 18, I studied at the Actors Studio in New York. Then ... JERRY HALL When I was young, I was a sucker for smooth men. Bryan Ferry hired me, at 19, to be painted blue and... JERRY HALL I see myself as the buffer between the band and the record company. JERRY HARRISON New Yorkers only cross water for visual culture if the water is an ocean. The East River throws us f... JERRY SALTZ Whoever is sitting in the White House, especially in their second term, when gas goes up to $3 a gal... JERRY FALWELL You wouldn't want to see the size of the check that I would write if it would for sure get the D... JERRY JONES And Warner Bros. seems to be pretty much into re-releasing all of their catalog. So there's the ... JERRY GARCIA When I gave up law to go into real estate, my mother said, 'How can you give up the law?' Bu... JERRY REINSDORF When I bought the team, I wasn't thinking about a new arena. But obviously I'm very proud of... JERRY REINSDORF Scanadu is right at the heart of the next generation of computing, which combines mobility, sensors,... JERRY YANG I have no interest in gender or race or anything like that. But everyone else is kind of, with their... JERRY SEINFELD 'The Night Cafe' and 'The Starry Night' still emit such pathos, density, and intensi... JERRY SALTZ I really am glad that the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children has had the cou... JERRY HALL Recycling, packaging, businesses are changing all of those things because that's what consumers ... JERRY GREENFIELD The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That's why they call it standby. Y... JERRY SEINFELD Pension reform can be hard to talk about. In the long run, reform now means fewer demands for layoff... JERRY BROWN When it's the caliber of fight that Canelo Alvarez and Liam Smith is, that's a big deal, and... JERRY JONES The things that are happening to me are unbelievable. I'm actually busier right now than when I ... JERRY RICE I can tell you, I grew up with great coaching, and it had nothing to do with sports. I had great par... JERRY JONES I call it like I see it. I don't hold back when it comes to being candid on the hot issues. JERRY DOYLE When the purse strings tighten up at museums, the institutions usually cut back and cancel shows. Th... JERRY SALTZ Just as Pollock used the drip to meld process and product, Richter 'found' and used the smud... JERRY SALTZ 'Hound Dog' took like twelve minutes. That's not a complicated piece of work. But the rh... JERRY LEIBER The State of Israel has faced obstacles and challenges to its very survival, with conventional milit... JERRY COSTELLO Startups are often very undercapitalised, but I found that to be very beneficial because it forces y... JERRY GREENFIELD I think that N.W.A. picked up where Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King would have gone if they had... JERRY HELLER Prosperity is living easily and happily in the real world, whether you have money or not. JERRY GELLIS Making a million dollars is the simplest thing in the world. Just find a product that sells for $200... JERRY GILLIES MoMA is one of the world's great cultural institutions with one of the world's premier Board... JERRY SPEYER The tax code can be used to eliminate the toll booths on the information superhighway. JERRY WELLER The first memory I have was my sisters dancing to the radio when they played records by Benny Goodma... JERRY LEIBER You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. A successful marr... JERRY MCCANT I discovered the Clash, the Pistols, obviously the Ramones, Blondie. JERRY ONLY We were watching bands like the Ramones and Blondie and other bands beginning to ignite. JERRY ONLY My long, blonde hair has been my trademark ever since I started modelling in the Seventies, when I w... JERRY HALL If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being. JERRY FALWELL Prosperity is living easily and happily in the real world, whether you have money or not. JERRY GELLIS If God had an agent, the world wouldn't be built yet. It'd only be about Thursday. JERRY REYNOLDS I know it's dangerous to take on bloggers. They can go after you every day, all day long, and an... JERRY SALTZ People come to me with their passion about transportation, about education, about health care, about... JERRY MCNERNEY You be you and I'll be me, today and today and today, and let's trust the future to tomorrow. Let th... JERRY SPINELLI If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? JERRY SEINFELD It's in the morning, for most of us. It's that time, those few seconds when we're coming out of slee... JERRY SPINELLI Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess ... JERRY SEINFELD Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the othe... JERRY SEINFELD Our worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are... JERRY BRIDGES Do not get attatched to the world as it is. Because the world is changing something new is coming. JERRY WEINTRAUB When a stargirl cries, she sheds not tears but light. JERRY SPINELLI Most men act so tough and strong on the outside because on the inside, we are scared, weak, and frag... JERRY RUBIN I have made decisions that turned out to be wrong, and went back and did it another way, and still t... JERRY GILLIES It doesn't matter what I say as long as I sound different from other politicians. JERRY BROWN Make sure you visualize what you really want, not what someone else wants for you. JERRY GILLIES And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rain... JERRY CHIN Confidence is a lot of this game or any game. If you don't think you can, you won't. JERRY WEST When the game is over it is really just beginning. JERRY KRAMER When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. JERRY MARTIN I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication... Not easy. There's an ent... JERRY SEINFELD Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. JERRY GARCIA You will recognize your own path when you come upon it, because you will suddenly have all the energ... JERRY GILLIES The government is becoming the family of last resort. JERRY BROWN It takes a lot more energy to fail than to succeed, since it takes a lot of concentrated energy to h... JERRY GILLIES You do not merely want to be considered just the best of the best. You want to be considered the onl... JERRY GARCIA Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside a... JERRY GILLIES I'm shopping around for something to do that no one will like. JERRY GARCIA Profitability doesn't happen when you're walking on bullshit. JERRY MARTIN Inaction may be the biggest form of action. JERRY BROWN For me, the lame part of the Sixties was the political part, the social part. The real part was the ... JERRY GARCIA The more you love what you are doing, the more successful it will be for you. JERRY GILLIES What you do is more important than how much you make, and how you feel about it is more important th... JERRY GILLIES Nobody stopped thinking about those psychedelic experiences. Once you've been to some of those place... JERRY GARCIA Prisons don't rehabilitate, they don't punish, they don't protect, so what the hell do they do? JERRY BROWN By the end, everybody had a label -- pig, liberal, radical, revolutionary ... If you had everything ... JERRY RUBIN It's a morbid observation, but if every one on earth just stopped breathing for an hour, the greenho... JERRY ADLER Too often, we say we are defeated by this or that sin. No, we are not defeated. We are simply disobe... JERRY BRIDGES I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?' JERRY SEINFIELD The backseat produced the sexual revolution. JERRY RUBIN Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases. JERRY BROWN According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death i... JERRY SEINFELD It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits th... JERRY SEINFELD Most men act so tough and strong on the outside because on the inside, we are scared, weak, and fr... JERRY RUBIN A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. JERRY SEINFELD Destroy your life; then put it back together.You'll get great material, meet some fascinating charac... JERRY STAHL AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society th... JERRY FALWELL We need to make sure the Department of Agriculture is promoting farmers and ranchers. JERRY MORAN I'm going to keep thinking about topping myself every time. I can say very confidently that Alic... JERRY CANTRELL 'Home Alone' was a movie, not an alibi. JERRY ORBACH A metaphysical tour de force of untethered meaning and involuting interlocking contrapuntal rhythms,... JERRY SALTZ Not to say people shouldn't get rich from art. I adore the alchemy wherein artists who cast a co... JERRY SALTZ Success has a lot to do with luck, but it also involves a lot of real hard work. The thing about suc... JERRY CANTRELL I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that if he suggested eliminating the inco... JERRY FALWELL It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fit... JERRY SEINFELD Australia was great. I would advise anybody to go there. In fact, if you couldn't live here, Aus... JERRY LAWLER They'd have to force me to take the All-Star Game. They take over the building, your season-tick... JERRY REINSDORF Stuff that's hidden and murky and ambiguous is scary because you don't know what it does. JERRY GARCIA Montana and I had a chemistry that was unbelievable. When I first came into the league he told me I ... JERRY RICE I don't think that McMahon thinks very much about the fact that J.R and I have been successful. ... JERRY LAWLER Anne is very forgiving. She doesn't care about money, being rich, or clothes. We never argued ab... JERRY STILLER To me it was never about what I accomplished on the football field, it was about the way I played th... JERRY RICE I don't like to be rushed. I plan my outfits for the week in advance. I find the appropriate out... JERRY HALL I like wearing my wedding ring, it's nice. JERRY O'CONNELL Only an artist as preternaturally acute and copacetic, as oddly visionary and just odd as Richard Ar... JERRY SALTZ I get very nervous when I have to take my wedding ring off. JERRY O'CONNELL Teams that consistently perform at the highest levels are able to come together and be unified acros... JERRY REINSDORF The alternate media are becoming important and viable alternatives to playing live. Records, videos,... JERRY GARCIA Part of the healing process is sharing with other people who care. JERRY CANTRELL It's really important for children to have good morals and good manners, and that they're th... JERRY HALL When comics came along in the 1930s there was a talent pool waiting. And one reason is so many areas... JERRY ROBINSON Through these adversities, Israel has endured with continued strength, conviction, and faith. JERRY COSTELLO The giant white cube is now impeding rather than enhancing the rhythms of art. It preprograms a view... JERRY SALTZ You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if... JERRY SEINFELD Companies such as Microsoft, Cisco and Intel were just starting at their 10-year anniversary. JERRY YANG When you're in comedy, people always come up and say, 'Oh, it must be so hard.' It reall... JERRY SEINFELD I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. JERRY SEINFELD Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us. JERRY SEINFELD That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. JERRY SEINFELD There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. JERRY SEINFELD I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu. JERRY SEINFELD The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! JERRY SEINFELD Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on... JERRY SEINFELD When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I... JERRY SEINFELD You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. JERRY SEINFELD Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and... JERRY SEINFELD Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. JERRY SEINFELD Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. JERRY SEINFELD A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. JERRY SEINFELD The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers... JERRY SEINFELD