FastSaying

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN


Bill Watterson

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SAM RAYBURN A great way to find J.O.Y.....Jesus, Others, Yourself : ) Remember what He did for you and all is we...
DEBRA ROBERTS You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.'

'That's why animals are s...
BILL WATTERSON You'll never get mixed up if you simply tell the truth. Then you don't have to remember what you hav...
SAM RAYBURN He was incredibly smart, witty and friendly. Everybody's really devastated by this.
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P. J. O'ROURKE If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've ...
RED SKELTON I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
BILL WATTERSON Maybe that's what praying is all about. Maybe it's not just asking God to forgive us for bad things ...
SARAH DARER LITTMAN You don't die. You just... get really angry and then after you're angry you hurt a lot and then the ...
MELINA MARCHETTA A dead heart is a dead life; keep your heart alive; let your heart beat for something unique!
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Oh happy day! A day to make a hay! And when it is mid-day, think about the day! And when you think a...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH You'll never get mixed up if you simply tell the truth. Then you don't have to remember what...
SAM RAYBURN They're happier because they have one bill instead of two or three.
GALE GIVEN Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what r...
VIRGINIA WOOLF My mother was very ill when I was 18. She had a brain operation and then a nervous breakdown. It'...
EMILIA FOX People themselves makes a lots of mistakes and still loves himself, and they never forget a single m...
OM BENIWAL You can not change what happened or bring back the past. But you can change the future by being stro...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Quotation... A writer expresses himself in words that have been used before because they give his me...
HENRY W. FOWLER Quotation ... A writer expresses himself in words that have been used before because they give his m...
HENRY W. FOWLER This year has been a market for all types, and in just eight weeks. If you don't like what you see t...
HENRY MCVEY You know those pills like Viagra, well they say that if you have an erection for more than 36 hours ...
CARLOS MENCIA I hope I remember everything," said Toni.
"You won't," said Trapp. "That's how you learn. But a...
LOUIS SACHAR There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature.
RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN Son, always tell the truth. Then you'll never have to remember what you said the last time.
SAM RAYBURN Save your ass, give my ass.... what a friend you are...
DEYTH BANGER Humour: Is the mobile phone male or female? Ans: female. Explanation: mobile = o-bil-me = O! Bill Me...
APURVA GAGLANI Son, always tell the truth. Then you'll never have to remember what you said the last time.
SAM RAYBURN Ranta: Let's just pray that she actually is a tsundere... Though, if she were a tsundere, obviously,...
AO JYUMONJI A witty statesman said, you might prove anything by figures.
THOMAS CARLYLE I'm not devastated over a baseball game. If somebody came to me and said, 'Your wife is term...
TOM GLAVINE I'm supposed to say, Bill O'Reilly, that's immoral - click - and then walk back in and book his A bl...
ANDREA MACKRIS If you are you, 24 hours a day, then you do not have to remember who you are supposed to be in diffe...
BILL DIXON Bill Watterson, creator of the extremely popular 'Calvin and Hobbes,' did know when to quit ...
RON GOULART The opportunity to decieve others is ever present and often tempting, and each instance of deception...
SAM HARRIS A universal feeling, whether well or ill founded, cannot be safely disregarded.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN She said we'd have them a week or two. Then it was a month, and then it was years. After so long, yo...
LIM COATS Bhulaney ke liay bhi tujhy yaad tu kerna hoga,
Magar her yaad se hain wabasta teri hazaar baata...
HUSEYN RAZA Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said:
I am not commanding you, but I ...
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NICHOLAS SPARKS As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, the...
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ANDREA ESQUER If you cannot recollect yourself continuously, do so once a day at least, in the morning or in the e...
THOMAS à KEMPIS When two people of the same sex … decide that they want to then adopt children, … then I think wha...
JANET PARSHALL In the same conversation, she might ask a question about a family member, and in two minutes or less...
FAIRY CAROLAND You said that you are ill... but from from what?
DEYTH BANGER People live for eating,but I eat for survive
OM BENIWAL You should be concerned if you're eating two eggs or more a day ... because you could increase your ...
BONNIE LIEBMAN A new day simply means all our errors of the previous day has been forgiven us,we can now re-begin a...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And ...
ALLAN SHERMAN A new day is here! yesterday is gone! tomorrow is preparing to come! but why is today here?
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day y...
JASPER FFORDE She charmed and sparkled and said witty things, but she knew very well she was being charming and sp...
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GARY F EVANS... There is a pill for every ill, and a bill for every pill.
UNKNOWN This is really interesting. When I was in the 9th grade, I flunked 9th grade algebra. I couldn't cop...
JOHN WARNOCK I can be just as effective with a quick retort or a one-liner than with a big paragraph.
ALAN COLMES If we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love, and behave ...
MITCH ALBOM Miranda Writes: Anything you say or do may be used for or against you within a story by a writer
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ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE Sometimes you do a sound installation, and the first day or two it is very exciting. Then you are he...
JEFFREY DEITCH Willie Jeffries told me that, and Bill Hayes told me that as well. If you worry what others say abou...
COACH KERMIT BLOUNT Coco Chanel is said to have said that a girl should be two things: who and what she is. I say a girl...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA ...if anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is impo...
WILLIAM PAUL YOUNG Bill and I have never talked about it to this day, ... except for one little thing he said to me a f...
PHIL SIMMS This team has been such a great group to coach because they're so locked in on their goal. They all ...
LYNNE ROBERTS I began by saying that our history will be what we make it. If we go on as we are, then history will...
EDWARD R. MURROW I'm supposed to say, Bill O'Reilly, that's immoral - click - and then walk back in and b...
ANDREA MACKRIS (Assistant coach) Dan Nye has been here nine or 10 years and Watterson has not beaten us during that...
AARON SCHREIN I don’t like keeping her in the dark,” Jace said.
“We’ll tell her in a week. What diffe...
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TOBA BETA One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.
JANE AUSTEN Then a guy said, 'Well, you know, 12 victories is probably just what we'd like, Coach,' ... I said, ...
LES MILES Then a guy said, 'Well, you know, 12 victories is probably just what we'd like, Coach,' ... I said,...
LES MILES And it struck me then, that I liked Sean because he looked, well, slutty. A boy who had been around....
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LUDO MILNE He gave me a hug and said he appreciated the visitors. He had a smile on his face, but he was devast...
DARLEEN SIMONSEN they’d have him as right as rain in a day or two. And
C.S. LEWIS First, do enough training. Then believe in yourself and say: I can do it. Tomorrow is my day. And th...
HAILE GEBRSELASSIE Lᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅ ... Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇ ɪᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS Nevermore," Lolli said. "That's what Luis calls it, because there are three rules: Never more than o...
HOLLY BLACK When everyone has a microphone, you can't hear anything. Choose one voice carefully and listen in.
RICHIE NORTON The area has responded very well when the hurricanes devastated the South, but it's time now to reme...
JANET M. CURTIS The story goes as the line follow... alone... loony....
...

That's what's happening....
DEYTH BANGER There are two 'Snow White' movies coming out for the same reason that you remember back in t...
ARMIE HAMMER You can live for a long time inside the shell you were born in. But one day it'll become too small."...
CHRISTINA BAKER KLINE Many years ago, Bill Gates said that one day we'd be able to click on the shoes of a character i...
BRIAN L. ROBERTS I could have made a neat retort but didn't, for I was flurried and didn't think of it till I was dow...
MARK TWAIN (About a cookbook...)
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
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TERRY PRATCHETT

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BILL WATTERSON I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.
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BILL WATTERSON I just read this great science fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and tur...
BILL WATTERSON Enemy fighters at two o'clock!Roger. What should I do until then?
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BILL WATTERSON When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.
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BILL WATTERSON Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
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BILL WATTERSON Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?
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BILL WATTERSON I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
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BILL WATTERSON Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
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BILL WATTERSON Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
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BILL WATTERSON Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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"Flatulence could be all...
BILL WATTERSON I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
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BILL WATTERSON If life is just a stage, then we are all running around ad-libbing, with absolutely no clue what the...
BILL WATTERSON After today, I'll bet Santa takes a shovel to the reindeer stalls to fill your stocking.
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BILL WATTERSON You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.'

'That's why animals are s...
BILL WATTERSON Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a cultur...
BILL WATTERSON Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!
BILL WATTERSON Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to ...
BILL WATTERSON CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the ...
BILL WATTERSON Some days you get up and you already know that things aren't going to go well. They're the type of d...
BILL WATTERSON CALVIN:
Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?

When you thi...
BILL WATTERSON The center snaps the ball to the quarterback!"
"No he doesn't!"
"He doesn't?"
"NO! Se...
BILL WATTERSON I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I jus...
BILL WATTERSON I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
BILL WATTERSON Wow, it really snowed last night! Isn't it wonderful? Everything familiar has disappeared! The world...
BILL WATTERSON Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did?
Calvin: No, but I can recite t...
BILL WATTERSON I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.
BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Dad where do babies come from?
Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit an...
BILL WATTERSON Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.
BILL WATTERSON Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
BILL WATTERSON A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.
BILL WATTERSON You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
What mood i...
BILL WATTERSON I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
BILL WATTERSON To make a business decision, you don't need much philosophy; all you need is greed, and maybe a litt...
BILL WATTERSON You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor that will be the stron...
BILL WATTERSON If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20...
BILL WATTERSON We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are...
BILL WATTERSON True, comics are a popular art, and yes, I believe their primary obligation is to entertain, but com...
BILL WATTERSON Childhood is short and maturity is forever.
BILL WATTERSON There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
BILL WATTERSON I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
BILL WATTERSON The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
BILL WATTERSON [A little more than a year after the comic entered syndication, it was collected in a book that beca...
BILL WATTERSON I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at ...
BILL WATTERSON They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Aut...
BILL WATTERSON Comics are capable of being anything the mind can imagine. I consider it a great privilege to be a c...
BILL WATTERSON Experience is food for the brain.
BILL WATTERSON So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend i...
BILL WATTERSON Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
BILL WATTERSON I try to make everyone's day just a little more surreal.
BILL WATTERSON I'm sick of everybody telling me what to do.
BILL WATTERSON It took hundreds of years for these woods to grow, and they leveled it in a week. It's gone. After t...
BILL WATTERSON I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
BILL WATTERSON Verbing weirds language.
BILL WATTERSON The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON This is where dad burried the little raccoon.
I don't even know he existed a few days ago and n...
BILL WATTERSON Watcha doin'?”
“Looking for frogs.”
“How come?”
“I must follow the inscru...
BILL WATTERSON Mom says death is as natural as birth, and it's all part of the life cycle.
She says we don't r...
BILL WATTERSON I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a new...
BILL WATTERSON Scientific Progress goes boink?
BILL WATTERSON Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.

-Hobbes
BILL WATTERSON I wonder where we go when we die?”
“…Pittsburgh?”
“You mean if we’re good or i...
BILL WATTERSON Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"...
BILL WATTERSON County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the probl...
BILL WATTERSON Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”
“That’s thoughtful of you...
BILL WATTERSON Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of borin...
BILL WATTERSON I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose
BILL WATTERSON Calvin: "I read this library book you got me."
Calvin's Mom: "What did you think of it?"
C...
BILL WATTERSON CALVIN: Hey, I got some mail! It's a Valentine card.
HOBBES: From Susie Derkins!
CALVIN: ...
BILL WATTERSON I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think ...
BILL WATTERSON Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower?

Of course not. Don't be silly.

Eve...
BILL WATTERSON I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!
BILL WATTERSON Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win!
Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when y...
BILL WATTERSON I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.
BILL WATTERSON Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.
BILL WATTERSON You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.
BILL WATTERSON It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but wha...
BILL WATTERSON The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
BILL WATTERSON Blustery cold days should be spend propped up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a pile of comic...
BILL WATTERSON I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
BILL WATTERSON I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin
BILL WATTERSON Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.
BILL WATTERSON Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any prepost...
BILL WATTERSON It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.
BILL WATTERSON Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, a...
BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.
BILL WATTERSON I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
BILL WATTERSON People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something.
BILL WATTERSON I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your li...
BILL WATTERSON Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination.
-Calvin
BILL WATTERSON There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
BILL WATTERSON At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner m...
BILL WATTERSON Calvin is hammering nails into coffee table.
Mom: CALVIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE...
BILL WATTERSON Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to c...
BILL WATTERSON As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a tes...
BILL WATTERSON We've had a few, but considering the length of the delay, it has not been bad.
BILL WATTERSON I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.
BILL WATTERSON My life needs a rewind/erase button.
BILL WATTERSON To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.
BILL WATTERSON Hobbes might be a little closer to me in terms of personality, with Calvin being more energetic, bra...
BILL WATTERSON I hate to subject it to too much analysis, but one thing I have fun with is the rarity of things bei...
BILL WATTERSON Obviously the great thing about this job is the complete freedom of the schedule. So long as I meet ...
BILL WATTERSON The timber wolves will be our friends.We'll stay up late and howl,At the moon, till nighttime ends,B...
BILL WATTERSON Whenever I hear about people trying to rediscover the "child within," I want to scream.
BILL WATTERSON I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by H...
BILL WATTERSON Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.
BILL WATTERSON If you don't have anything to say just keep quiet! Provoking a reaction isn't the same as saying som...
BILL WATTERSON The kind of girl I was attracted to in school and eventually married.
BILL WATTERSON . . . it's worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success. You will do well t...
BILL WATTERSON I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man's destruction of...
BILL WATTERSON A REAL job is a job you hate.
BILL WATTERSON It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
BILL WATTERSON Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if...
BILL WATTERSON There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.
BILL WATTERSON Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to ...
BILL WATTERSON If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 minutes, than it's probably not worth...
BILL WATTERSON You can lead people to the truth, but you can't make them understand it.
BILL WATTERSON How come we play war and not peace?"
"Too few role models.
BILL WATTERSON Such is American business, I guess, where the desire for obscene profit mutes any discussion of cons...
BILL WATTERSON Now what state do you live in?'
'Denial.
BILL WATTERSON Mothers are the necessity of invention.
BILL WATTERSON I learned about what I love. Imagination, deep friendship, animals, family, the natural world, ideas...
BILL WATTERSON I was not prepared for the resulting attention. Besides disliking the diminishment of privacy and th...
BILL WATTERSON I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
BILL WATTERSON At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find the inner mo...
BILL WATTERSON Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these ...
BILL WATTERSON Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better t...
BILL WATTERSON By golly, life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an i...
BILL WATTERSON A box of new crayons! Now they're all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they'll be...
BILL WATTERSON I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster th...
BILL WATTERSON It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
BILL WATTERSON It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
BILL WATTERSON [Calvin: A 6-year-old boy who thinks like a grown-up and fantasizes like a child.] Calvin is very fr...
BILL WATTERSON